I have a lot of goals in this life. One of my goals is to die without bitterness. Maybe you think this is a silly goal, but as I have gotten older, it is becoming more and more apparent how difficult this is going to be. There are so many disappointing things that happen in this life…

I used to be so afraid of failing. So much so that it actually kept me from trying new things.

Not anymore.

I now realize that failure is nothing to fear. What we should really be afraid of is listening to our fears.

Our fears are merely failures that have never happened and often never do.

Why should I spend my life fearing all of my possible failures when I could live my life to the fullest and learn to manage the ones that actually occur?

My fear tries to tell me to stop moving forward and that the risk isn’t worth the reward.

That’s ridiculous.

I now understand that I shouldn’t be afraid of the fall, but I should be deathly afraid of standing still.

I actually have a few words for fear...

Take it from a person who has quite literally had most of her stuff in a dumpster. Life can hand us a crappy hand every now and then.

Sometimes we look around and think, how did I get here? But most importantly, how do I get out of here?? Here are a few tips that I have learned for when life hands us lemons…

Recently, I was talking to a friend and mentioned to her that I am always looking to change. I hope to be a very different person in a year than I am today.

I said it without thinking a thing about it until she stopped me and asked,

“You want to change?”

Do you ever say things and not think about them until someone calls you out for saying it? I do all of the time. I thought about it for a minute and realized that I whole-heartedly believed and agreed with the statement I made.

I want to change...

I have been working on my ability to be a bully. I know what you are thinking, “Haley, it is not good to be a bully.” And for the most part, I agree with you.

I don’t believe in bullying people. Ever. I don’t believe in demeaning people and I believe that all people deserve to be valued.

However, this is an exception to that rule. In my opinion, this guy is the biggest bully I know and he deserves to be bullied in return.

In fact, he has probably tried to bully you too.

Do you know him?

For the past decade of my life, I have been trying to learn how to fail and after ten plus years, I still don’t know exactly how to do it. Of course, I can fail. Failing is inevitable, but I am still learning how to fail well.

How can I still be here after so many years of believing in grace?

How is it possible that I am still so affected by my failure? Why are my limitations, mistakes, and misunderstandings so scary to me? I have come so far, but I still have a long ways to go.

In the past, when I have failed, I felt the need to cover up my failure and hide my mistakes. At the same time, I would defend my value as if it was something that needed defending. 

During my failure, there was always a little voice taunting me... What if my fears are true? What if my fail is a sign that I not only failed, but I am a failure?? But worse, what if I am a failure who is destined to fail forever?

I was in sixth grade the first time that an acquaintance told me that she didn’t like me. Nothing had happened between us. Just me being “me” was enough to arouse in her a very strong feeling of frustration and annoyance, and she needed me to be aware of it.

I was eleven years old.

So, I guess I could tell you that it was also in sixth grade that I began to perform for the world to accept me. I began to try to be what other people wanted me to be...

Have you ever been overwhelmed with shame? Have you ever felt shame for a choice or a mistake that you made? Maybe you have felt shame for not being the same as someone else? Or felt ashamed for being “you”? Have you ever felt like you aren't enough?...