In my life, I was the person with the answers not the person with the problems. Don’t get me wrong, of course, I had problems, BUT I chose to avoid them if at all possible.

I hated moments of conflict, failure, and misunderstandings because those experiences had a way of highlighting my need for growth.I trained in Jedi maneuvers to ensure that nothing ever came back and pinpointed to my brokenness. I was a master at making sure that you or they were always pinned with the “issues”.

When I have frustrations in my life, my first instinct is to look around and find the source of my frustration. This usually ends in me finding the person responsible. Someone must be at fault, right? And it isn’t me. I then put my frustration on that person, whether in secret or to their face.

Only recently have I realized how truly unproductive this process actually is. This way of handling things is focused primarily on one thing and that is…

blame.

Welcome back to our “I Am Insecure” series! We are happy to have you here! If you are just now joining us, please be sure to check-out week one of our series, Find Your Person, before you read this! You will be glad that you did!

Week Two how do we react to our insecurities?...

I experienced a lot of fear during the first couple years of my marriage. Getting married made me think of the future ahead and I found myself overwhelmed with all the unknowns that life could bring. It felt like my responsibility to think of all the possibilities and prepare for them. Honestly, at first, my fear seemed like a good thing. It felt like my friend. My fear told me to be smart and get prepared for the inevitable doom ahead. It seemed to be protecting me from the bad things to come, but it all became too much, I started to become lost in it...

In our world today, we have many outlets to share our views. With that comes many opportunities to feel offended by the opinions that we hear. When we are offended, it is easy to make the choice to treat others poorly.

How do we react when we find ourselves offended by the opinions and actions of others?...

For a multitude of reasons, I found myself discouraged this week. I had a sick baby, some disappointments, a touch of rejection and other routine life “stuff”. All week I had a nagging, unwelcome visit from a long-time frenemy, Self-Pity.

Self-Pity and I grew up together and became friends at a young age. I thought we had a true friendship, but the more time I spent with her, the more I realized that she wasn’t my friend.  

She has a way of masking her true intentions...

There is something you need to know about me. I am a recovering list maker, plan constructor, control freak. For most of my life, I have LOVED to have a plan and I did not like it if the plan didn’t go as I expected. The first ten years of Carter’s and my relationship were commonly filled with times that I was angry because circumstances didn’t go as I had hoped...

I would like you to do something for me right now, forget about your present circumstance and forget about your stress. Forget about the past few years that have not gone the way you expected. (Don’t worry we will come back to reality, just go with me for a minute.) Now, let’s go back to a simpler time, a time when you had your whole future ahead of you. You were filled with hope and excitement of the many possibilities ahead.

Stay here for a moment.

Who is this person? What dreams did they have? What kind of person were they to become? What kind of life would they live?

Ok, now come back.

This is it, this is your life.

Welcome to your future...

Have you ever felt discontent with who you are?

Several years ago, I found myself frustrated with my life. Don’t get me wrong, my circumstances were great. I had a wonderful family, great friends, I was a new mom, I was blessed with a job that I enjoyed and I was in a flourishing marriage, yet I felt disappointed with myself.

 I wanted to find a way to live content.

 I wanted to learn to be ok with who I was.

 I wanted to learn how to love me...