How Dare You Offend Me
In our world today, we have many outlets to share our views. With that comes many opportunities to feel offended by the opinions that we hear. When we are offended, it is easy to make the choice to treat others poorly.
How do we react when we find ourselves offended by the opinions and actions of others?
Have you ever sat back and watched an offended person speak their mind? An offended voice draws in two types of people, the people that strongly agree and strongly disagree. No one is looking to change their own opinion or learn from one another. It’s just two sides, looking to prove their points and for people to agree with them.
When we are offended, we aren’t concerned with finding a resolution. We only care about being right. Interestingly, it feels like we have accomplished something after we go on a rant, but what have we really accomplished? Being offended gives us a false sense of being productive.
We need to clear something up. Merely being offended does not make us right. Being offended simply makes us opinionated. Also, contrary to popular behavior, being offended does not justify us to say whatever we want. It is not noble to have opinions, it is quite easy actually. It is not hard to get defensive. It is not challenging to be angry.
When we are offended, we look down on others who don’t agree with us. May I ask, what makes us right all the time? Being offended isn’t a matter of opinion. Being offended is a matter of pride.
An offended heart says,
“How dare you have a different opinion than me and share it in my presence.”
An offended voice doesn’t bring peace, it brings chaos. Each voice is louder than the next, because that’s what offense does, it escalates emotions and situations.
When disagreeing, some people express themselves more effectively than others. Many people have great things to say but use a horrible delivery system. Some of the most beautiful causes are being lost because of an offended voice. May I suggest that when expressing ourselves, we use our words with kindness, hope, and love? May I suggest that using a tone of intolerance, frustration and annoyance will not bring the change that we are hoping for?
The way we treat people that we disagree with says a lot about our character, I would suggest that it says more about us than our opinions themselves.
The response of an offended man says more about the offended man than the offense.
Over and over, I am told that I should not value a company, a faith, a person, or an opinion because it is different than mine. I’m not suggesting that we stop having opinions. Actually, I believe we should embrace our opinions while respecting theirs.
There are many dividing lines that are being made in the world right now, and everyone is demanding that we pick a side. This is perfectly fine, but I will not stand on a side and call everyone else stupid. I refuse. We all have topics that we are very passionate about, but I believe that how we treat the people on the other side of that line matters.
We must choose to respect people, even if we cannot relate to them.
Our opinions tell a story of the life that we have lived. They tell of our relationships, our hopes, our hurts, our disappointments and our hardships. Our views are a product of our experiences. We all see the world differently, and that is a beautiful thing.
I want to be able to live alongside people who don’t agree with me. I want to choose to show kindness, even when it’s hard. I will show you respect not because you agree with me, but because I value you.
I have great friends that I completely disagree with on faith, politics, parenting, family, work and many other things in life.
You know what? I don’t care.
I don’t need them to agree with me.
I believe they are living what they think is best for them and their family. Even though I see things differently, I respect their experiences and views. I am not trying to manipulate them to believe the things I believe.
I value them for being them.
I am enjoying them, today, with all of our differences in the way we see the world. Giving them the grace to be where they are, as I hope they are giving to me.
Perhaps the greatest change we can bring to this world is not our opinions, but our love.