It Is Not Hard to Have Opinions

It is not hard to have opinions. It is not hard to be opinionated. It really isn't.

It is not hard to tell other people how they need to change. It is not hard to see the faults in other people. It is actually quite easy.

It is not hard to shame people for their failures. It is not hard to demean people for their beliefs.
It is not hard to sit back on our keypad and type from a place of superiority about how other people are getting life wrong.

These things are NOT hard.

What is hard, however, is to get out of our chairs, to look in the mirror and ask ourselves what we are REALLY bringing to the world... outside of our Facebook opinions.

Make no mistake that we are not taking a noble stand by voicing hateful thoughts.

It is not hard to stand in hate.
It is, however, hard to serve in love. 

It is not hard to judge someone based on their beliefs that we don't understand.

It is hard however to try to understand someone who believes differently than we do and it is even harder to choose to love someone that we don't understand. It is hard, but we should be able to do this. This is a skill vitally necessary in this world.

I understand that “their” politics, religion or other beliefs in life may be completely "wrong". I am sorry that they do not believe as you do. They will have to own the consequences of their beliefs, but we must own the consequences of ours.

It is so intriguing to me that we hold onto our idealistic ideas stronger than we hold on to our love.

It is really fascinating how we can say we are standing for love while spewing hate.

Let's stop thinking about "them" and let's start realizing that we have the ability to change the world.

Words have power.

We need to understand that power and own what we are producing with our words.

Our opinions do matter. They do. But what matters greater is how we use them and how we treat those with differing opinions than our own.

We have freedom of speech, but let's not get that confused with believing our words don't come at a cost.

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Ten Things to Know Before Starting a New Adventure

I am a lover of adventure, which works out well since this life is filled with it. I believe that adventure can be found in our everyday lives. It lies merely in our perception. Adventure can look like moving across the globe, starting a new career, or simply living with a new outlook. Whatever your adventure is, here are a few pointers that I have learned during the adventures that I have taken.

One. Beginning is half the battle.

When you have a dream or an idea, at some point, you need to simply start. Of course, it is good to wait for timing that works for your life, but I would hesitate to wait for the timing to be “perfect”. At some point you must stop talking about what you are going to do and just do it.

Two.  At times, you will want to quit.

Starting something new is always challenging, and most of us don’t enjoy being challenged. At times, the cost feels very high, particularly in moments that seemed discouraging. There are many reasons to quit something, but being “hard” is not a good reason. If it is truly an adventure that you wanted to start, don’t end it early. You must not quit.

Three. Prepare for people’s opinions to be a part of your journey.

Some people will be there to cheer you on and push you forward. Other people will be there to tell you that you should stop or that your adventure is a waste of time. They will tell you how you are doing things wrong. Some people will say nothing at all, and it will leave you guessing what they think. You must not get distracted by any of it. You see, you are not on this adventure for them. You are on this adventure for you. Keep your cheerleaders close though because you will need them when things get tough.

Four. Time will be your friend.

Don’t get overwhelmed by how difficult and time consuming things are in the beginning. With time, things will go smoother and be much simpler. Give yourself the time that you need to figure out how to master your quest.

Five. Breaks are necessary.

When you start something new, you need to allow time for breaks. Let yourself have time to rest whether it be for an hour, a day, a week or a month! Take a break, but don’t quit.

Six. Expect backlash.

This world has a way of hitting us hard, and that is never shown better than when we step out to start something new. Whether it be mean critics, poor timing, bad weather, relationship struggles or financial difficulty, it can feel like this world literally begins to revolt when we step foot on a new journey. Expect backlash. You didn’t start the journey because it was going to be easy. You started this journey because you felt the call for more. Don’t go back.

Seven. The key to your success will be in your expectations.

What are your expectations for your adventure? You must not expect quick success, overwhelming praise, or glorious riches. None of these things will be guaranteed. However, you can expect adventure. Your adventure will give you adventure. You can expect to grow. You can expect to learn about yourself. These things alone must be worth the adventure because nothing else is guaranteed. A true adventurer is driven merely with the desire to push for more out of this life and the desire to live this life to the fullest.  

Eight. Your adventure will make you feel vulnerable.

Starting something new is vulnerable. Always. When you begin to speak out into the world that you are starting a new voyage, the world will have something to say about it. You must be prepared for your journey to feel difficult and vulnerable. I say this not to discourage you, but to prepare you that the journey will most likely hit you where it hurts. The journey will challenge you not only in your strength, but especially in your weakness. The key here is not to lose your vulnerability. Do not allow the voyage to make you bitter or cynical. Vulnerability is one of your most treasured assets. Guard it with your life.

Nine. Your adventure is waiting on you.

No one is waiting to make your dream a reality. No one is going to do it for you. It won’t just fall in your lap and it won’t be served to you on a silver platter. If you want something out of this life, it is up to you and you alone will have to work for it.

Ten. Your adventure will not always feel like an adventure.

This is perhaps the most important thing to understand about adventure. There will be moments of your adventure that feel exhilarating and life changing, but the majority of your moments will feel quite mundane. Most of them will be simply about putting one foot in front of the other. Let’s not ever be under the impression that adventure is about mere excitement. Our adventure is about so much more than how we feel.

For us adventurers, life is simple. It is about getting off of our little behinds and choosing to go and live what is inside of us. We are not dictated by our fears. We are not motivated by others. We are not even driven by our destination.

We are driven by the desire to push ourselves. We are driven by the desire to explore the unknown and are not intimidated by the “what-ifs”.

Some people will love us for our adventure and some people will hate us, but it matters not, because we aren’t doing it for them. We are doing it for ourselves, so when we are at the end of our life, we won’t die with our life still inside of us. We are living it now. Leaving nothing left to be buried in our grave.

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How Dare You Offend Me

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In our world today, we have many outlets to share our views. With that comes many opportunities to feel offended by the opinions that we hear. When we are offended, it is easy to make the choice to treat others poorly.

How do we react when we find ourselves offended by the opinions and actions of others?

Have you ever sat back and watched an offended person speak their mind? An offended voice draws in two types of people, the people that strongly agree and strongly disagree. No one is looking to change their own opinion or learn from one another. It’s just two sides, looking to prove their points and for people to agree with them.

When we are offended, we aren’t concerned with finding a resolution. We only care about being right. Interestingly, it feels like we have accomplished something after we go on a rant, but what have we really accomplished? Being offended gives us a false sense of being productive.

We need to clear something up. Merely being offended does not make us right. Being offended simply makes us opinionated. Also, contrary to popular behavior, being offended does not justify us to say whatever we want. It is not noble to have opinions, it is quite easy actually. It is not hard to get defensive. It is not challenging to be angry.

When we are offended, we look down on others who don’t agree with us. May I ask, what makes us right all the time? Being offended isn’t a matter of opinion. Being offended is a matter of pride.

An offended heart says,
“How dare you have a different opinion than me and share it in my presence.”

An offended voice doesn’t bring peace, it brings chaos. Each voice is louder than the next, because that’s what offense does, it escalates emotions and situations.

When disagreeing, some people express themselves more effectively than others. Many people have great things to say but use a horrible delivery system. Some of the most beautiful causes are being lost because of an offended voice. May I suggest that when expressing ourselves, we use our words with kindness, hope, and love? May I suggest that using a tone of intolerance, frustration and annoyance will not bring the change that we are hoping for?

The way we treat people that we disagree with says a lot about our character, I would suggest that it says more about us than our opinions themselves.

The response of an offended man says more about the offended man than the offense.

Over and over, I am told that I should not value a company, a faith, a person, or an opinion because it is different than mine. I’m not suggesting that we stop having opinions. Actually, I believe we should embrace our opinions while respecting theirs.

There are many dividing lines that are being made in the world right now, and everyone is demanding that we pick a side. This is perfectly fine, but I will not stand on a side and call everyone else stupid. I refuse. We all have topics that we are very passionate about, but I believe that how we treat the people on the other side of that line matters.  

We must choose to respect people, even if we cannot relate to them.

Our opinions tell a story of the life that we have lived. They tell of our relationships, our hopes, our hurts, our disappointments and our hardships. Our views are a product of our experiences. We all see the world differently, and that is a beautiful thing.

I want to be able to live alongside people who don’t agree with me. I want to choose to show kindness, even when it’s hard. I will show you respect not because you agree with me, but because I value you.

I have great friends that I completely disagree with on faith, politics, parenting, family, work and many other things in life.

You know what? I don’t care.

I don’t need them to agree with me.

I believe they are living what they think is best for them and their family. Even though I see things differently, I respect their experiences and views. I am not trying to manipulate them to believe the things I believe.

I value them for being them.

I am enjoying them, today, with all of our differences in the way we see the world. Giving them the grace to be where they are, as I hope they are giving to me.

Perhaps the greatest change we can bring to this world is not our opinions, but our love.