I am sorry that I cannot be what you want me to be. You seem to have such specific requirements for me and I have disappointed you.

I didn’t want to let you down, but here we are.

I have been so focused on how you felt about me and my choices that I lost sight of who I am and the life I want to live. And sadly, I even started to blame you for my unhappiness. This isn’t fair and I promise to do better. My happiness is not in your hands and I free you from that burden you never asked to carry.

This has taken me some time to understand, but I see things differently now. I now see that I have to let go of your approval.

I have to let go of you.

Growing up, I heard the term “unconditional love” a lot. Honestly, I had the mindset that unconditional love was everywhere. I thought every friend and family member I had would love me, value me, and honor me without condition.

Of course, it didn’t take me long to learn the harsh reality that unconditional love wasn’t as common as I thought. In reality, there are a whole lot of conditions to the relationships we live, some spoken and some unspoken…

What if there is more to my life than what I am living? With all of my heart, I want to live the life that I am supposed to live while I am on this earth, but what if I miss it? What if I get to the end of my life, look back and think “My God, what did I do?”

This thought haunts me at times, never enough to leave me paralyzed, but enough to keep me moving. I want this life to matter. I want my life to matter. I want to challenge myself. I want to challenge others to keep moving forward. This life does have a purpose and that purpose is unique for each of us. It is vital that we get our head in the game. We get no second chances. We only get today, we only get right now.

What is holding us back from living our fullest life?

I have a lot of goals in this life. One of my goals is to die without bitterness. Maybe you think this is a silly goal, but as I have gotten older, it is becoming more and more apparent how difficult this is going to be. There are so many disappointing things that happen in this life…

Take it from a person who has quite literally had most of her stuff in a dumpster. Life can hand us a crappy hand every now and then.

Sometimes we look around and think, how did I get here? But most importantly, how do I get out of here?? Here are a few tips that I have learned for when life hands us lemons…

I used to have a hard time letting go of things.  I would hold on to my bitterness, hurt, anger, expectations, and my plans.  I carried them around with me long after they had happened and I prided myself with my ability to do so.

I felt like if someone told me to let go of these things that it meant they didn’t value how hard the experience was for me. I actually felt it was almost offensive for them to suggest...

I have been working on my ability to be a bully. I know what you are thinking, “Haley, it is not good to be a bully.” And for the most part, I agree with you.

I don’t believe in bullying people. Ever. I don’t believe in demeaning people and I believe that all people deserve to be valued.

However, this is an exception to that rule. In my opinion, this guy is the biggest bully I know and he deserves to be bullied in return.

In fact, he has probably tried to bully you too.

Do you know him?

Have you ever been overwhelmed with shame? Have you ever felt shame for a choice or a mistake that you made? Maybe you have felt shame for not being the same as someone else? Or felt ashamed for being “you”? Have you ever felt like you aren't enough?...