Ruining My Life... One Expectation at a Time
Hopes. Dreams. Expectations. Plans. Goals. Desires.
They are all wonderfully beautiful things... until they aren’t.
There is an art to having expectations. The trick is to find the sweet spot. Right where they push you forward, but don’t hold you back.
I have always been a very positive person and I have never been short on hopes for my future. These hopes turned into plans and then I would then execute those plans. As I did, I expected everything to go exactly according to my very sunny expectations.
Expectations.
Such a simple word with a whole lot of implication.
I realized something interesting about my expectations… well… that they were ruining my life.
I guess to be fair it wasn’t actually my expectations that were stealing from me, it was my inability to let go of them. I mean seriously, I would clinch those things in my hands until there was no life left in them at all. I didn’t want to let go.
I would hold on to them like some crazy lunatic who just could not get the message that things were not going to play out like she thought.
My expectations have affected every part of my life, but have probably affected my relationship with Carter the most. They almost functioned as a third person in our relationship.
I let my expectations call the shots far too often. I would ruin an entire experience because it went differently than I expected it to. It was so stinkin’ silly.
When things didn’t fall in line, I was not ok with it. I felt entitled to my expectations. I felt as if I was owed them. I wanted things to go perfectly, but when they didn’t, I couldn’t find a new “perfect”. I would waste so much time thinking about what “should have been”.
I was missing out on so many things because they were turning out different than I expected.
We should expect wonderful things in this life; however, we should not stop moving forward when things happen that are not expected. It isn’t easy, that’s for sure. But I want to be very clear about something that I discovered along the way.
My life was not the problem.
My husband was not the problem.
My problem was my inability to understand that this life is not lived out according to a pre-written script.
This life is organic and alive. This life is full of twists and turns more beautiful and gut-wrenching than anything that we can possibly imagine.
It is not so much our plans that will indicate what kind of life we have, but the ability to adapt to the change of plans that will define our life.
My sweet friends, aim yourself to the moon, but when you find your experiences falling short of what you hoped, don’t forget to enjoy the stars.
(Yes, that just happened. I referenced the "shoot for the moon" saying. Classic.)
Much love and many blessings, Haley
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