Are You Being Taken Advantage Of? Here’s the Solution.
Have you ever felt taken advantage of? I’m not talking about being lied to or stolen from, I’m talking about situations when we helped someone out and felt they expected more than they should or they seemed ungrateful for how much we did for them.
Whether by a friend, family member, spouse, or coworker, most of us have felt like we have been taken advantage of at one point or another. These situations can be quite frustrating to experience, but I have discovered the solution.
Time and time again, I have realized being taken advantage of is simply a need for two things:
boundaries
and
communication.
It is an opportunity for us to use our words and set appropriate boundaries.
But let’s be clear, If we offer to help someone out, we should do so without the expectation they will pay you back for it. If we expect them to pay us back, we must be clear from the start of our expectations.
We should never expect payment for our kindness.
If we are expecting something in return we need to understand this is not a gift.
This is a debt.
Secondly, we need to understand how situations change. Maybe we offered to help someone out by babysitting, paying a bill, house sitting, helping them at work, assisting them financially, or any other assistance, and when we agreed, we were happy to help.
We offered our assistance with a pure heart, no strings attached, but then, at some point something changed. Our once kind offer changed into something we resent the person for.
We need to understand this does not necessarily mean this person has done anything wrong. It simply means that it is time for us to have a conversation about the agreement moving forward.
It is time to set a boundary.
Unfortunately, many people really suck at having conversations and setting new boundaries. This is a vital skill we all need to learn if we don’t want to feel taken advantage of.
You see, it is simple to never be taken advantage of again:
First, don’t expect payment for helping someone out.
Second, whenever someone is expecting you to give more than you are willing to give, reassess the agreement and have a conversation.
Lastly, don’t help if you aren’t actually wanting to help.
It really is as simple as that.
As humans, we like to blame people. We like for our problems to be other people’s fault. Sometimes our problems are caused by other people; however, when it comes to being taken advantage of this is not the problem of someone else. If we have been taken advantage of there is only one person to blame.