REDEMPTION UNVEILED
Behind on Life
Do you feel like you are behind? Today, I talk about a hot topic for many of us, our "to-do list"! I know I am not the only person who feels like the list never seems to end.
"I wake up feeling like I should’ve woken up earlier and go to bed feeling like I should have gotten more done."
If you are feeling overwhelmed by how much that needs to be done right now, check out this article...
So at what point in life will I actually feel like I am able to accomplish everything that needs to be done?
Because I feel behind… a lot.
The “to-do” list never ends. I feel like I should be doing more things, better. Even right now, I am typing this during the evening. I don’t usually like to write in the evening, but here I am behind.
Most of the time I wake up feeling like I should’ve woken up earlier and I go to bed feeling like I should have gotten more done.
It isn’t just one thing in my life that I feel like I may be falling short on...
I have insurance papers that need to be filled out, mail to sort, calls to make and texts to return.
I need to go grocery shopping and should be cooking at home more.
I am behind on cleaning, dishes and laundry.
I am tired, but who has time to be tired ? I long to rest, but if I spend the kids’ naptime resting and doing nothing, I feel like I wasted the afternoon.
The thought of working out doesn’t even cross my mind anymore, considering I don’t even give the time to wash my hair if I can get by another day.
I have so many thoughts on things I want to write, but sit down and struggle to complete an entire piece. I have vlogs I need to shoot and guest posts I need to edit.
Don’t even get me started on the things left to do before Christmas.
I am doing my best, but my best is not getting everything done.
To be honest, this usually brings me a lot of stress and shame; however, I have been vigilant in not allowing my shame to control me. If I allow it, shame will tell me every single day of my life that I am a failure. No matter how much I accomplish shame will always be there to tell me it wasn’t enough. Right now, I am focused on this process.
I am committed to telling my shame to shut up.
Tonight, I am going to write this and let it be what it is. I’m not going to be ashamed that it isn’t better. It is what it is and that is enough. I am not going to focus on all of the things that I should have done differently today.
I am not going to focus on the fact that I fell short, but I will choose to focus on the fact that I did my best.
Parenthood has taught me that the "to-do" list is never finished. Ever. EVER. So I must no longer be driven by it.
I must be driven by my desire to live this life, not just get it done.
We have got to stop allowing ourselves to believe that we are failing. We have to stop being ashamed of our lives. We have to stop being ashamed of ourselves. We can’t keep going like this. I know that this life is intense, but we have to start holding our head up. We are doing our best. We are moving forward.
This life should not be defined by how much we have checked off of our “to-do” list, but by how well we can live our life as we accomplish the things that need to be done.
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Dealing with Discouragement
Discouragement can be so disappointing. I hate the days of my life that I feel discouraged. It is amazing how defeated I can feel! Check-out my blog post today about being discouraged...
Seriously, I have to do this again? I have to be here… again? I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be disappointed. I want to move on. I want to not care. But I do. I do care.
I am tired of feeling disappointed in this life.
I am tired of resenting my hope.
It is easy to resent hope because it is only after hope that I find myself disappointed. And shortly after disappointment comes discouragement. But I hate discouragement more than I hate disappointment. I hate being discouraged. I hate being overwhelmed.
I am a handler. I like to handle things, not to be handled by them.
I like to have strength, knowledge, and wisdom to deal with every obstacle that comes my way. I like to have a plan to proceed forward with finding success. And I enjoy having my to-do list that I can check off my small victories.
I like victories.
I don’t like to feel like I am losing. I don’t like to feel like I am falling behind. Isn’t it so easy to feel like we are falling behind? In a moment we can be hit with the revelation that we are lagging. We should be farther. We should be more. We should be better.
I hate these moments.
I hate the moments that tell me I should be more than I am.
That my life should be more than it is.
I hate the seconds of my life that discouragement tells me how to feel… and I listen. I hate it. I don’t want to listen to my discouragement, but at times it feels like the only voice I can hear. I try to quiet the voice and speak firm to my discouragement. Sometimes it happens so subtly that I fail to realize what is even happening. I fail to realize who I am listening to.
You see, discouragement tries to get me to sit down and stop. Discouragement tells me that I will never catch up and that in the end, I will lose anyway.
Discouragement tells me to quit.
I was telling Carter the other day that it is funny because I wouldn’t call myself a quitter; (I actually can’t think of anything at the moment that I have actually quit) however, I think about quitting things a lot.
One example of this is when I thought about starting a blog for years. Finally, last June I began to force myself to take action toward my goal. Funny enough, I “quit” my blog about six times before I even launched it. Haha! Carter would come home and I would tell him about the new thing that I was trying to learn, but I was pretty sure it was too hard and I needed to just quit. I would give myself a week or two and then get back at it to try again. It didn’t happen overnight, but six months later I launched myself a blog!
Even now, I will call Carter and tell him that I need to work on a blog post, but have come to the realization that I have nothing to say and don’t know why I have a blog. I give myself a moment… or a day and then I get back at it. Suddenly, I have something to say again and I wonder how I could have ever felt voiceless.
Truth is, quitting is not my style. It just doesn’t feel right to me. I guess I like breaks.
I am all about taking a break when things get tough.
Let’s not discount the very necessary experience of rest. Rest is perfect. If you are discouraged today, step back, breathe and rest.
Give yourself rest, but don’t quit.
Funny enough, discouragement often comes right before our greatest breakthroughs! Let’s not listen to the voice that tells us to quit because that voice cannot be trusted!
Let’s keep our heads up. We can do this!
-Haley
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Shame Is the Name of the Game
Have you ever been overwhelmed with shame? Have you ever felt shame for a choice or a mistake that you made? Maybe you have felt shame for not being the same as someone else? Or felt ashamed for being “you”? Have you ever felt like you aren't enough?...
Have you ever been overwhelmed with shame? Have you ever felt shame for a choice or a mistake that you made? Maybe you have felt shame for not being the same as someone else? Or felt ashamed for being “you”? Have you ever felt like you aren't enough?
Shame is interesting. When we are shaming someone else, we feel superior. We feel that we are better than them because “we would never do that” or “say that” or “be that”. When we experience shame within ourselves, it makes us feel inferior. “How can I struggle with this?” or “Why did I say that?” or “Why did I do that?”
Shame is woven into our culture. It is used in our marriages, friendships, parenting, religion, politics, workplaces… It is everywhere. I am particularly talking about how we use it to dishonor and disgrace people.
Shame has a strange way of connecting people together. Many people and cultures embrace the idea of shaming others. They value shame. Entire movements have been fueled by it. People love to join together and shame others for their choices.
Shame is one of the loudest voices in the world right now.
Why?
Because it works.
Shame is often used to manipulate people. It keeps people “in line” and is powerful enough to control behavior. When someone uses shame on us, it connects us to our deepest fear of being rejected.
“If I am not good enough, they will leave me.”
“If I don’t measure up, they will not love me.”
Shame is a mighty force, but shame can’t possibly compare to the power of love. Love gives grace and mercy to accept us in our current condition.
Love gives us security.
“I love you just as you are.”
Shame gives us a threat.
“If you don’t measure up, I will leave you.”
Shame is powerful, but let me warn you, it only has the power to put people in shackles. Shame loves to keep people enslaved with guilt. It keeps us afraid and confined. I wonder how many of us have been too afraid to be honest about our internal struggles because we are unsure if we will be loved once we are.
Shame keeps us in bondage.
Love gives us freedom.
Even if we decide we don’t want to live a life of shame, other people will try to give it to us. Some people don’t want to live without it. We cannot control the choices they make, but we can control the ones we make.
We must stop allowing shame to dictate our lives.
I have yet to meet a person who has arrived to the destination of “Perfection”. We must stop believing that we only have value if we are perfect. We must find a way to love the fact that we are a work in progress. Our value must not come from our degree of perfection, but from the fact that we are a human being.
It is vital that we get rid of the sliding scale that we use to measure people’s worth… including our own.
We are all on a journey, and this journey should not be treated with shame, but with appreciation. We should be grateful for the continual opportunity to learn, grow and become even more beautiful than we were yesterday.
We must not let the shame of who we have been keep us from the glory of who we are becoming.
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That Awkward Moment When... You Have a Breakdown at Walmart
Have you ever had a breakdown at a less than optimal time?! I have... at Walmart. Awkward! Watch my account of the events in my very first video blog!...
