Is This a Time for Rage?

I just finished reading a nationally circulated article that told me that “this is a time for rage”. It was speaking on some of the recent events of the political landscape and the current sexual investigations that are taking place.

I am no stranger to the current world we live in and it is no great surprise for me to see rage, but this was something new. This was the first time that I had actually seen a writer not just speak in a state of rage, but recommend it as the best option as we move through these difficult situations.

I could not believe it.

Really? That is the best that we have?

With all of the tools, emotions and communication styles we have access to we are going to select our rage?

Is that what people really think?

That rage is going to get us through?

Rage is our savior?

Not for me.

I don’t have faith in my rage.

Rage is an emotion, it is not a solution.

When we feel enraged, we feel like we have a purpose. We see the path ahead and we have no doubt that we can conquer it. It makes us feel brave and important.

Our rage makes us feel powerful.

Our rage is an understandable emotion that arises as we journey through some of these difficult experiences, it makes us feel like we are seeing crystal clear, but it actually blinds us. We are unable to see anything else but our emotion and our perception. When we feel rage we are often incapable of listening well and uninterested in learning because we demand to be heard.

I do understand that rage can be quite productive. It can be a great influencer, communicator and motivator to get people in action, but let’s be clear, the action that rage will spark is not one that will bring beauty to this world.

While rage is easy to grow, it is not easily controlled and the more it spreads the harder it is to keep in check.

Rage is loyal to itself and not even the cause at hand.

Rage is not a superhuman power to get things done. It is an ineffective strategy for creating positive change.

We have leaders instructing their followers to take up anger as a tool to solve our problems.

Umm… no thanks.

Rage can ignite fiery passion and can cause intimidation, but is this really going to give us what we want? Is this going to create the environment that we want our children to grow up in?

If encouraged, our rage will produce hate, intolerance, and violence.

Rage has no peace to offer us.

Rage has no answers for us.

Rage is not the solution.

Being unable to control our temper is not our strength, this my friends is actually part of the problem. Rage may have to be a part of all of this, but to credit it as our strength would be a mistake.

Our bitterness, our rage, and our anger will never heal us or create peace in this world. The healing that we find after our rage will.

We will heal this problem by sharing and listening to the experiences that have occurred. We will heal as the stories of darkness get brought to the light. We will heal as people who have found healing share the way. We will heal in our understanding. We will heal as we connect and support one another. We will heal as we become equipped. We will heal as we forgive.

We will heal as we speak to our youth and educate them on these things that have gone unspoken in generations past.

We will heal as we teach people to do better.

We will begin to heal as we better understand the mindsets that have let these actions take place repeatedly while staying in the dark generationally.

We will not heal because of our rage. We will heal despite it.

We need to do better.

Not just with our sexual misbehaviors, but with our response to them as well. We must find a different way to navigate these difficult experiences.

Rage may be a step along the journey, but should not be the destination. Make no mistake about it, we want to keep moving forward.

We want a better world for every woman and every man. We want a better world for our children.

If we want better, then we all must do better.

Our culture needs an answer to this problem and I am sure that rage is not that answer.

No matter how we feel, our rage is not actually effective for us to get what we want.

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The Words That Echo

I believe that words have great power, but unfortunately, people don’t always use this power wisely… or kindly. It is shocking how much pain can be caused by words. When is the last time that someone said something hurtful to you?

I am amazed at how well I can remember some of the hurtful things that have been said to me. I can play them on repeat, word for word… for years.

We have all had hurtful things said to us. Painful words can echo in our lives for quite some time. It seems natural to remember the worst things that have been said to us while the kind things are all too easily forgotten. We often focus on the negative and hold onto the hurt.

In this life, it is inevitable that people will try to define us. Some people will define us kindly, while others will define us cruelly. Sadly, we often give too much thought to the harshest definitions.

People will define us, but we have the final say on who we believe ourselves to be.

We must not give too much focus to other people’s opinions. Merely because someone says something about who we are, does not make it right. Opinions change by the day. They are filtered through moods, personalities, experiences and perceptions. Someone may fully believe what they say is true, but that doesn’t make it truth.

Unkind things are said in this life. Sometimes they are said with the intention to hurt us and sometimes hurt is not the intent. Either way, we must learn how to process painful words.

We can’t change how people speak to us, but we can change how much we allow their words to dictate our life. It can be hard for us to move past the cutting words, but we should not live with the open wound of hurt for too long.

We need to quit entertaining the words that came into our life to tear us down. At some point, we must know who we are and not worry about who others believe us to be.

We must move on.

There will be people in this life who love us and people who hate us. Some people will agree with us and others will disagree. We will have people who will support us and people who won’t.  This is not always fair, but this is life.

I am sorry for the words that have haunted you, but it is time to let them go.

Let’s decide together to no longer relive the hate and let's move forward. Let’s draw a line in the sand, forgive and move on. Let’s release them. Let’s release ourselves.

stop QUESTIONING HOW OTHERS PERCEIVE YOU AND JUST YOU. because you are enough.

Own Your Hate and Bitterness. They Are Yours.

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This world can be a very difficult place to live. No matter how hard we try to keep ourselves from pain, it seems there is no way to escape from getting hurt in this life. There are times that it can seem simpler to overlook situations that cause us pain, but we must face them. It is essential that we understand our hurts and our brokenness.

In every situation, we are offered time to be wounded. It is necessary that we allow ourselves this time and the grace to be hurt and broken. However, our hurts won’t stay “hurts” forever, they change.

Our brokenness that is left unattended will become bitterness.

Our hurt that is left unaddressed will become hate.

One day, we will wake up and the opportunity to begin the healing process will present itself. At that moment, we will have a choice. If we choose not to begin the journey to be healed, we will begin the journey to hate.

None of us can escape the pain of this life. Sometimes pain comes as a huge defining moment of betrayal, and at other times, it is small repeated rejections. The principal is the same whether small or large. We have the choice to release and heal, or hold on and hate.

We do not choose our pain, but we do choose what we do with it. Once we are no longer hurting, but hating and no longer broken, but bitter we must own our current condition. This is the choice we make when we choose not to let go, but to hold on. This is the choice we make when we choose not to forgive. Hate and Bitterness are our consequence for not choosing to be healed from our pain.

When we choose to heal we aren’t saying that we are ok with how we were treated. We are saying that we are unwilling to let what happened to us define who we are.  

Sometimes it can feel like we have a right to our hate. That we have earned it because of what we have been through. But do we really want our hate and everything it will give us? You see, hate is not content to stay stagnate. Hate demands control. Our hate will change us. It will make us people we never intended to be.

Sometimes this life just sucks. We as people have the capacity to make both, horrible mistakes and horrible choices. We hurt one another both, unintentionally and intentionally.

People can hurt us and cause us pain, but no one has the ability to make us hateful or bitter. We hold the keys to our souls. What we do with the hurt, pain and brokenness is up to us. We get the final say. The days of blaming our hate on other people need to be over. We must own who we are.

I beg you, my friend, not because they deserve your forgiveness,

but because you deserve your healing.

Let it go.

Seek counsel, forgive and find healing.