You Were Born to Feel Alive.

We had our first child, Epsie, in June of 2011. While stepping into motherhood was amazing in most ways, I wouldn’t describe it as the “easiest” experience. Our daughter was so sweet, cuddly, and perfect; however, she cried much of the evenings and wasn’t too keen on sleeping much at night.

I found myself awake through the night for months after she was born. She liked to be held while she slept. I mean, who can blame her?? But if I laid her down, she cried, and I was nervous to sleep while holding her. So, we “compromised”. I stayed awake and held her so she could sleep. Randomly, I remember watching all the seasons of Ugly Betty and Desperate Housewives. When I look back on this time, it has a bit of a weird vibe. No sleep and lots of “girly tv”.

I was doing my best to get through, but I would not say I was thriving.

I remember when my daughter was a few weeks old, sitting by the pool, zoning out as I stared into the water. There were people all around me, but I felt like I could just go to sleep. I was thinking to myself in a slow, tired rhythm, “How can I keep going like this? How do people do this? Is this just my life now? Forever tired? Dreading the nighttime?”

Motherhood was blissful, for sure.

But I was most definitely in survival mode. 

By the time December rolled around we had pushed through on getting her to sleep and by January, I was ready to start a new beginning. I felt like a new woman now that I was sleeping again.

So, I did what many of us do and I used the new year to focus on the things I was going to change. And I did. 

I made many changes, some for my physical health and others for my spiritual health. I wanted to feel different when the next year rolled around. 

I got a plan and moved toward that plan of action.

Working out. Journaling. Prayer time. Goals for my family and my marriage. Fasting. I really held nothing back. I can be a real go-getter when I’m in the mood…

This was one of those years that I did what I set out to do, and it was the start of a new season of my life.

I grabbed ahold of the realization that my life was full of possibilities, but I also knew it was going to take work on my part.

Most of us have had seasons in our lives where we feel out of order, but the question is what did we do about it? If we want to take the Adventure God made for us, then it is going to take a lot of effort on our part. No matter what we believe about “fate” or “destiny” it is important that we all understand our decision to live out the purpose God created us for must be chosen by us. 

God does not force any of us to pay the price of our destiny.

And there most certainly is a price.

Experiencing the life God has for us means that we are willing to get out of our comfort zone and do things that we feel anxious doing. We must live a life of being comfortable with the experience of being uncomfortable. 

We must learn to push ourselves.

We must learn to listen to what God is saying, get a plan to take action toward it, and most importantly, take the action!

Here in a couple weeks, I am going to be offering an opportunity to join my 10 Day Kickstart into the new year. I am going to help you get a plan for the year and figure out what God wants you to do. I don’t want any of us to end the 2024 feeling disappointed with it.

Our life with God must be deliberate. And it certainly cannot be limited to reading the Bible or listening to good sermons. Yuck. That’s only the beginning. As Christians, we must all be discovering the grand Adventure of becoming who God created us to become and doing what He created us to do.

It is the greatest call in our life to discover the purpose we were put on this Earth for and become the person God created us to be. 

We were created to live with God and fully come alive while we are here.

Do you feel alive?

-Haley

Ps. Remember, the Earth is waiting for you to show up. 

Do You Feel Like Quitting?

When Carter and I were Juniors in high school, we had been dating for 2 years. We had a great relationship and had already begun planning a future together. But that winter something changed. I lost all feelings for him. It was the strangest thing because nothing had happened. We hadn’t been fighting and he hadn’t done anything wrong, but something changed for me. It just felt like I was no longer attracted to him or had feelings for him. This went on for a couple of weeks and I started seriously considering breaking up with him. I mean, why would I stay with someone I had no feelings for?

I’ll never forget, in January of 2003, sitting with him in his blue, Chevy truck at the Sonic, after a basketball game seriously contemplating ending our relationship. I mean, who wants to date someone they don’t feel attracted to? 

Carter, sensing that something seemed seriously wrong, asked me, “What’s wrong? You haven’t been acting normal. I know something is wrong. Please, just tell me.” 

I knew this was my chance. If I was going to do it, this was the perfect opportunity. But I thought about it again and I chose not to.

I didn’t break up with him for one reason and one reason only. I cared too much for him.

Sure, I didn’t feel “in love” with him, but we had spent 2 years together and I knew it would crush him. So, I made an agreement with myself, that I would give it another week. If I still wanted to break up with him next week, I would do it then. What was the rush? I thought to myself.  There wasn’t one, I decided. I could do it next week.

But guess what happened to my 17-year-old self the following week??? I was once again fully obsessed, attracted, and loving my hot, boyfriend. After this, I remember thinking how crazy real my emotions had felt the week before. How could I have been so close to ending something so important to me? Now, 20 years later, I have often remembered this very important lesson.

My feelings do not always line up with what I should do.

This has gone on to shape our relationship, and not just that, but many things I have done in life, including Redemption Unveiled. Over 7 years ago, I started the “Redemption Unveiled” blog. I felt confident that God was calling me to do it, so I did. I knew he had a message for me to share and I felt a deep knowing that I should step out and share it. I quickly ran into a pretty big problem though. 

Not only did I not know what I was doing, I didn’t know what Redemption Unveiled was really supposed to be.  I was confident that I had a message to share, but what was it?? 😄🙄😭

I cannot begin to tell you the roller coaster that I have taken when it comes to RU. Not only have I had hundreds of tag lines, mission statements, and plans to move forward, but I have also had countless hours of conversations with Carter and other people in my life trying to find the clarity of what I am called to share here.

This all changed this year. 

2023 I finally uncovered the mission that Redemption Unveiled was meant to bring into this world.

I am here to help you take the Adventure God has for you.

It has been such a breath of fresh air to finally have clarity to this thing that I thought would be so much easier to define when I began. Everything feels different now. I no longer feel like I am searching for something and working to make sense of what is within me. After 7 years of blogging, podcasting, talking, praying, planning, thinking, and trying, it finally feels like I know what Redemption Unveiled is.

So imagine my complete surprise when the past few months I have felt unmotivated and not that excited to launch it into the world. I always told myself, that if I only had clarity, I bust this thing out like no other. But here I am, clarity and all, and there has not been any “busting” to speak of. In fact, I have felt little motivation to dig in and do the work.

What in the world? After all this time, why am I not passionately, obsessed with this Adventure that I have worked so hard for??

I have felt very confused.

This week, I was talking to Carter about all of this, and I looked down, and suddenly had a major “aha” that I felt like God gave me. He reminded me of that time many years ago, back when Carter and I were in that Chevy truck at the Sonic.

I remember the feeling of “blah” that I felt. I remember how close I was to letting it all go, and then I was reminded of all the beauty that has come since.

And just like that, something was settled in me once again.

Redemption Unveiled will be an exciting adventure… just maybe not today.

Recently, RU has felt like a struggle. I am showing up and doing the work, but it hasn’t felt as passionate as expected. 

Turns out, no adventure is always fun and exciting. Marriage, parenting, careers, friendships, our calling, and even life itself, are all made up of many things. Sometimes they are exciting, sometimes difficult, and sometimes they just feel really boring.

This is a lesson we all must learn.

The Adventure that God calls us to are made up of highs and lows, but not just that. Sometimes, they are made of boring plateaus that can be even harder to stick through than the trials. I want to encourage you that if you want to experience all the Adventures that God has for you, you will have to push through the seasons of your life and choose the adventure, even when it doesn’t excite you.

Take it from me, you won’t always feel like you feel today and if you want God to give you the life you were born for, you will have to do a lot of things you don’t feel like doing.

Let’s do this.

Don’t forget, the Earth is waiting for you to show up. 🌎 -Haley

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Does your life feel boring? Do you struggle to see the Adventure you are on? I am excited to announce that I am bringing back GUEST to the podcast! Every other week, we will hear from someone about an adventure they took with God! I can’t wait to share these amazing stories with you!

Today’s podcast has one of the best stories I have ever heard!

Today, I have on my mom, Shelly, and she is sharing with you the story of when God called her to adopt… even though she already had 6 biological children! She faced a lot of problems along the way, it was NOT an easy Adventure for her to go on. But all along the way, God wrote himself into the story. This is one of the most inspiring stories I’ve ever heard, and it never gets old.

If you need to feel inspired this Holiday Season, listen to this podcast today!

I Am Dedicated to Dying Without Bitterness

I have a lot of goals in this life. One of my goals is to die without bitterness.

Maybe you think this is a silly goal, but as I have gotten older, it is becoming more and more apparent how difficult this is going to be.

There are so many disappointing things that happen in this life.

As a child many of us believed that the sky was the limit. We looked at adulthood with longing, because we thought it would be filled with freedom. It seemed clear that our adult life would be the place that all of our dreams would magically come true.

We couldn’t wait to grow up.

However, as we enter into adulthood our hopes can quickly be met with a harsh dose of reality.

Adult life can feel quite monotonous and disappointing.

Our timeline for things like promotions, marriage or children is often different than we hoped. Our career can feel suffocating or stagnant. The money doesn’t always pour in like we expected. Married life is not always the honeymoon we thought it would be and parenting can often be more exhausting than we imagined.

Friendships can be difficult to maintain through the years. Unfortunately, some of our relationships become lost altogether.

And then there are the seasons of life that utterly break our heart and almost break us completely.

It is easy to become cynical.

Without even realizing it, our disappointment can lead us to embrace bitterness. Not all at once, but a little bit at a time.

The way I see it, I have two options:

to own my bitterness or refuse it.

To be clear, I know that bitterness comes with many benefits.

When I am hurt, I can use bitterness as an “off” switch. It allows me to hold onto my expectations and resent the way that things turned out. I can then move forward without processing my disappointment, grieving or forgiving anyone.

Bitterness can be quite comforting when I don’t want to walk through the healing process.

Becoming bitter can happen quite naturally, but it comes at a high cost.

Yes, it gives me a free pass not to heal, but it also keeps me stuck in the pain of my experience. My disappointments will forever have a hold on me until I choose to process them.

I am dedicated to living a life without bitterness.

The way I see it, it is a priority for me to master being disappointed. Not because I enjoy disappointment, but because I want to live free.

Freedom.

The freedom I sought as a child is the very thing I am longing to protect.

My freedom to dream.

My freedom to hope.

The freedom to be me genuinely and not hardened by life.

I will not take responsibility for everything that happens to me in my life, I will take full responsibility for what I do with it.

Bitterness is not for me, that is for sure.

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Home Sweet Home {One Year Later}

One year ago, today, our home caught on fire. 

Thankfully, it was not a total loss. Just the walls, part of the roof, our ceilings, insulation, cabinets, doors, windows, and a good chunk of our stuff. 

The home we had remodeled for five months quickly turned into a total gut job. Awesome. 

Fast forward seven months and we were able to move into our home again. This time everything was brand new and quite lovely. 

We moved back into our house the exact same week that we bought our house last year, the last week of April. How is that for coincidence? Haha. It was the week after I turned THIRTY. I told Carter that I have now been “given” a house two years in a row for my birthday, so I have a pretty high bar for next year. Haha! Actually, to be honest, the only thing I would like for my birthday next year is to NOT move into ANY house!

We are home and we are so very happy.

We are settled, our house is decorated and every box is unpacked. Our garage is even cleaned out. (And some people don’t believe in miracles!)

We did it.

Our home is finished and quite beautiful. Did you hear that? FINISHED! Who knew that we would ever say that?! 

It took us a LONG time to get here but we have arrived. We have had so many work days on this house, pre-fire and post-fire. 

When the day finally came to move in, we had the kids stay the night with their grandparents and we finished moving into our house without telling them!  Carter and I loaded the rest of our furniture and whatever I could fit into my van. (Why do I not think moving boxes are necessary??? Because I am an idiot. That's why.)

We unloaded our furniture, just the two of us, into our completely restored home. To be honest, we have dozens of people that would have been happy to help us with our FINAL move in, but it was therapeutic to do it ourselves. Well, for me at least. I loved bringing every single item into our home and deciding where it should belong.

We set up our furniture, made beds and set up the kids’ playroom. I wanted my kids to instantly feel at home when they walked in. No more being unsettled.

The next morning we brought them HOME. They were so surprised!  It was amazing.

Within ten minutes, Mayliss had found the nail polish and was going wild with it. (Not surprising.) And within thirty minutes, Shep had gone missing. Upon doing a quick search, I found him alone in his bedroom with his Army guys scattered everywhere.

My heart was happy.

We were home.

We moved home at the end of April and I took a break from my writing and Social Media to focus on my family and getting us settled back into our normal lives. Whatever normal is?

Each day as I have organized and decorated I have tried to process the past year of our lives.

What in the world happened?

Things did not go as we planned. That's what happened. We had a plan, but our plan was taken from us. Without notice we found ourselves with a different path. We had no choice but to accept this *new plan*, but the process felt very disappointing.  Funny enough, we actually became more excited with the new plan than our original one. Which is wonderful, but it did not make the experience any easier.

This past year was exhausting.

We had many moments of disappointment and discouragement. It was challenging and very stretching to feel so unsettled with our family of five for an entire year.

I have finally come up with the perfect word to sum up everything we went through this past year…

Life.

Life happened.

This is it. In all of its glory. Life brings us plans that we don’t want, but we have to take. I have learned that my life is much better if I choose to be appreciative of what I have instead of focused on everything I don't.

This life hands us things that we don’t expect and we didn’t ask for. We don’t get to pick what we are given, but we do get to pick how we play our hand. We may not always love what we have been dealt, but let's not forget to enjoy the game.

I will leave you with some pictures of our beautiful home...

Blessings my friends. -Haley

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Dealing with Discouragement

Seriously, I have to do this again? I have to be here… again? I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be disappointed. I want to move on. I want to not care. But I do. I do care.

I am tired of feeling disappointed in this life.

I am tired of resenting my hope.

It is easy to resent hope because it is only after hope that I find myself disappointed. And shortly after disappointment comes discouragement. But I hate discouragement more than I hate disappointment. I hate being discouraged. I hate being overwhelmed.

I am a handler. I like to handle things, not to be handled by them.

I like to have strength, knowledge, and wisdom to deal with every obstacle that comes my way. I like to have a plan to proceed forward with finding success. And I enjoy having my to-do list that I can check off my small victories.

I like victories.

I don’t like to feel like I am losing. I don’t like to feel like I am falling behind. Isn’t it so easy to feel like we are falling behind? In a moment we can be hit with the revelation that we are lagging. We should be farther. We should be more. We should be better.

I hate these moments.

I hate the moments that tell me I should be more than I am.

That my life should be more than it is.

I hate the seconds of my life that discouragement tells me how to feel… and I listen. I hate it. I don’t want to listen to my discouragement, but at times it feels like the only voice I can hear. I try to quiet the voice and speak firm to my discouragement. Sometimes it happens so subtly that I fail to realize what is even happening. I fail to realize who I am listening to.

You see, discouragement tries to get me to sit down and stop. Discouragement tells me that I will never catch up and that in the end, I will lose anyway.

Discouragement tells me to quit.

I was telling Carter the other day that it is funny because I wouldn’t call myself a quitter; (I actually can’t think of anything at the moment that I have actually quit) however, I think about quitting things a lot.

One example of this is when I thought about starting a blog for years. Finally, last June I began to force myself to take action toward my goal. Funny enough, I “quit” my blog about six times before I even launched it. Haha! Carter would come home and I would tell him about the new thing that I was trying to learn, but I was pretty sure it was too hard and I needed to just quit. I would give myself a week or two and then get back at it to try again. It didn’t happen overnight, but six months later I launched myself a blog!

Even now, I will call Carter and tell him that I need to work on a blog post, but have come to the realization that I have nothing to say and don’t know why I have a blog. I give myself a moment… or a day and then I get back at it. Suddenly, I have something to say again and I wonder how I could have ever felt voiceless.

Truth is, quitting is not my style. It just doesn’t feel right to me. I guess I like breaks.

I am all about taking a break when things get tough.

Let’s not discount the very necessary experience of rest. Rest is perfect. If you are discouraged today, step back, breathe and rest.

Give yourself rest, but don’t quit.

Funny enough, discouragement often comes right before our greatest breakthroughs! Let’s not listen to the voice that tells us to quit because that voice cannot be trusted!

Let’s keep our heads up. We can do this!

-Haley

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