Do You Feel Like Quitting?
When Carter and I were Juniors in high school, we had been dating for 2 years. We had a great relationship and had already begun planning a future together. But that winter something changed. I lost all feelings for him. It was the strangest thing because nothing had happened. We hadn’t been fighting and he hadn’t done anything wrong, but something changed for me. It just felt like I was no longer attracted to him or had feelings for him. This went on for a couple of weeks and I started seriously considering breaking up with him. I mean, why would I stay with someone I had no feelings for?
I’ll never forget, in January of 2003, sitting with him in his blue, Chevy truck at the Sonic, after a basketball game seriously contemplating ending our relationship. I mean, who wants to date someone they don’t feel attracted to?
Carter, sensing that something seemed seriously wrong, asked me, “What’s wrong? You haven’t been acting normal. I know something is wrong. Please, just tell me.”
I knew this was my chance. If I was going to do it, this was the perfect opportunity. But I thought about it again and I chose not to.
I didn’t break up with him for one reason and one reason only. I cared too much for him.
Sure, I didn’t feel “in love” with him, but we had spent 2 years together and I knew it would crush him. So, I made an agreement with myself, that I would give it another week. If I still wanted to break up with him next week, I would do it then. What was the rush? I thought to myself. There wasn’t one, I decided. I could do it next week.
But guess what happened to my 17-year-old self the following week??? I was once again fully obsessed, attracted, and loving my hot, boyfriend. After this, I remember thinking how crazy real my emotions had felt the week before. How could I have been so close to ending something so important to me? Now, 20 years later, I have often remembered this very important lesson.
My feelings do not always line up with what I should do.
This has gone on to shape our relationship, and not just that, but many things I have done in life, including Redemption Unveiled. Over 7 years ago, I started the “Redemption Unveiled” blog. I felt confident that God was calling me to do it, so I did. I knew he had a message for me to share and I felt a deep knowing that I should step out and share it. I quickly ran into a pretty big problem though.
Not only did I not know what I was doing, I didn’t know what Redemption Unveiled was really supposed to be. I was confident that I had a message to share, but what was it?? 😄🙄😭
I cannot begin to tell you the roller coaster that I have taken when it comes to RU. Not only have I had hundreds of tag lines, mission statements, and plans to move forward, but I have also had countless hours of conversations with Carter and other people in my life trying to find the clarity of what I am called to share here.
This all changed this year.
2023 I finally uncovered the mission that Redemption Unveiled was meant to bring into this world.
I am here to help you take the Adventure God has for you.
It has been such a breath of fresh air to finally have clarity to this thing that I thought would be so much easier to define when I began. Everything feels different now. I no longer feel like I am searching for something and working to make sense of what is within me. After 7 years of blogging, podcasting, talking, praying, planning, thinking, and trying, it finally feels like I know what Redemption Unveiled is.
So imagine my complete surprise when the past few months I have felt unmotivated and not that excited to launch it into the world. I always told myself, that if I only had clarity, I bust this thing out like no other. But here I am, clarity and all, and there has not been any “busting” to speak of. In fact, I have felt little motivation to dig in and do the work.
What in the world? After all this time, why am I not passionately, obsessed with this Adventure that I have worked so hard for??
I have felt very confused.
This week, I was talking to Carter about all of this, and I looked down, and suddenly had a major “aha” that I felt like God gave me. He reminded me of that time many years ago, back when Carter and I were in that Chevy truck at the Sonic.
I remember the feeling of “blah” that I felt. I remember how close I was to letting it all go, and then I was reminded of all the beauty that has come since.
And just like that, something was settled in me once again.
Redemption Unveiled will be an exciting adventure… just maybe not today.
Recently, RU has felt like a struggle. I am showing up and doing the work, but it hasn’t felt as passionate as expected.
Turns out, no adventure is always fun and exciting. Marriage, parenting, careers, friendships, our calling, and even life itself, are all made up of many things. Sometimes they are exciting, sometimes difficult, and sometimes they just feel really boring.
This is a lesson we all must learn.
The Adventure that God calls us to are made up of highs and lows, but not just that. Sometimes, they are made of boring plateaus that can be even harder to stick through than the trials. I want to encourage you that if you want to experience all the Adventures that God has for you, you will have to push through the seasons of your life and choose the adventure, even when it doesn’t excite you.
Take it from me, you won’t always feel like you feel today and if you want God to give you the life you were born for, you will have to do a lot of things you don’t feel like doing.
Let’s do this.
Don’t forget, the Earth is waiting for you to show up. 🌎 -Haley
Does your life feel boring? Do you struggle to see the Adventure you are on? I am excited to announce that I am bringing back GUEST to the podcast! Every other week, we will hear from someone about an adventure they took with God! I can’t wait to share these amazing stories with you!
Today’s podcast has one of the best stories I have ever heard!
Today, I have on my mom, Shelly, and she is sharing with you the story of when God called her to adopt… even though she already had 6 biological children! She faced a lot of problems along the way, it was NOT an easy Adventure for her to go on. But all along the way, God wrote himself into the story. This is one of the most inspiring stories I’ve ever heard, and it never gets old.
If you need to feel inspired this Holiday Season, listen to this podcast today!