Do You Feel Like Quitting?

When Carter and I were Juniors in high school, we had been dating for 2 years. We had a great relationship and had already begun planning a future together. But that winter something changed. I lost all feelings for him. It was the strangest thing because nothing had happened. We hadn’t been fighting and he hadn’t done anything wrong, but something changed for me. It just felt like I was no longer attracted to him or had feelings for him. This went on for a couple of weeks and I started seriously considering breaking up with him. I mean, why would I stay with someone I had no feelings for?

I’ll never forget, in January of 2003, sitting with him in his blue, Chevy truck at the Sonic, after a basketball game seriously contemplating ending our relationship. I mean, who wants to date someone they don’t feel attracted to? 

Carter, sensing that something seemed seriously wrong, asked me, “What’s wrong? You haven’t been acting normal. I know something is wrong. Please, just tell me.” 

I knew this was my chance. If I was going to do it, this was the perfect opportunity. But I thought about it again and I chose not to.

I didn’t break up with him for one reason and one reason only. I cared too much for him.

Sure, I didn’t feel “in love” with him, but we had spent 2 years together and I knew it would crush him. So, I made an agreement with myself, that I would give it another week. If I still wanted to break up with him next week, I would do it then. What was the rush? I thought to myself.  There wasn’t one, I decided. I could do it next week.

But guess what happened to my 17-year-old self the following week??? I was once again fully obsessed, attracted, and loving my hot, boyfriend. After this, I remember thinking how crazy real my emotions had felt the week before. How could I have been so close to ending something so important to me? Now, 20 years later, I have often remembered this very important lesson.

My feelings do not always line up with what I should do.

This has gone on to shape our relationship, and not just that, but many things I have done in life, including Redemption Unveiled. Over 7 years ago, I started the “Redemption Unveiled” blog. I felt confident that God was calling me to do it, so I did. I knew he had a message for me to share and I felt a deep knowing that I should step out and share it. I quickly ran into a pretty big problem though. 

Not only did I not know what I was doing, I didn’t know what Redemption Unveiled was really supposed to be.  I was confident that I had a message to share, but what was it?? 😄🙄😭

I cannot begin to tell you the roller coaster that I have taken when it comes to RU. Not only have I had hundreds of tag lines, mission statements, and plans to move forward, but I have also had countless hours of conversations with Carter and other people in my life trying to find the clarity of what I am called to share here.

This all changed this year. 

2023 I finally uncovered the mission that Redemption Unveiled was meant to bring into this world.

I am here to help you take the Adventure God has for you.

It has been such a breath of fresh air to finally have clarity to this thing that I thought would be so much easier to define when I began. Everything feels different now. I no longer feel like I am searching for something and working to make sense of what is within me. After 7 years of blogging, podcasting, talking, praying, planning, thinking, and trying, it finally feels like I know what Redemption Unveiled is.

So imagine my complete surprise when the past few months I have felt unmotivated and not that excited to launch it into the world. I always told myself, that if I only had clarity, I bust this thing out like no other. But here I am, clarity and all, and there has not been any “busting” to speak of. In fact, I have felt little motivation to dig in and do the work.

What in the world? After all this time, why am I not passionately, obsessed with this Adventure that I have worked so hard for??

I have felt very confused.

This week, I was talking to Carter about all of this, and I looked down, and suddenly had a major “aha” that I felt like God gave me. He reminded me of that time many years ago, back when Carter and I were in that Chevy truck at the Sonic.

I remember the feeling of “blah” that I felt. I remember how close I was to letting it all go, and then I was reminded of all the beauty that has come since.

And just like that, something was settled in me once again.

Redemption Unveiled will be an exciting adventure… just maybe not today.

Recently, RU has felt like a struggle. I am showing up and doing the work, but it hasn’t felt as passionate as expected. 

Turns out, no adventure is always fun and exciting. Marriage, parenting, careers, friendships, our calling, and even life itself, are all made up of many things. Sometimes they are exciting, sometimes difficult, and sometimes they just feel really boring.

This is a lesson we all must learn.

The Adventure that God calls us to are made up of highs and lows, but not just that. Sometimes, they are made of boring plateaus that can be even harder to stick through than the trials. I want to encourage you that if you want to experience all the Adventures that God has for you, you will have to push through the seasons of your life and choose the adventure, even when it doesn’t excite you.

Take it from me, you won’t always feel like you feel today and if you want God to give you the life you were born for, you will have to do a lot of things you don’t feel like doing.

Let’s do this.

Don’t forget, the Earth is waiting for you to show up. 🌎 -Haley

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Does your life feel boring? Do you struggle to see the Adventure you are on? I am excited to announce that I am bringing back GUEST to the podcast! Every other week, we will hear from someone about an adventure they took with God! I can’t wait to share these amazing stories with you!

Today’s podcast has one of the best stories I have ever heard!

Today, I have on my mom, Shelly, and she is sharing with you the story of when God called her to adopt… even though she already had 6 biological children! She faced a lot of problems along the way, it was NOT an easy Adventure for her to go on. But all along the way, God wrote himself into the story. This is one of the most inspiring stories I’ve ever heard, and it never gets old.

If you need to feel inspired this Holiday Season, listen to this podcast today!

Get A Vision for Your Life

It has become obvious to me that if we want to take the Adventure God has for us then we need to have some sort of idea where we are headed.

You need a vision for your life.

ASAP.

There truly is no need to wait any longer. You need to identify where you are going and what you are doing with the time you have on this Earth.

I think as Christians we struggle with living a broad approach to life. We are taught what our morals should be and then we just live. However, I would like to challenge this approach. I think we can do better. I think we should do better.

I wish that every single Christian could realize the vital importance of identifying where they believe God is calling them in this life and live very intentionally to get there. Not rushing ahead of God but being very aware of the great responsibility we have to take our time seriously.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not here to tell you to cause you to panic about your Christianity. That’s not my job.

My job is to encourage you to show up for the grand Adventure God created you for so that you don’t go to bed feeling like something is missing. I want to help you organize your life so that you don’t end up disappointed with your time on this earth.

So, first things first. Get a vision.

I want you for a second to think about being 90 years old. Perhaps you know that your life is nearing its end. What would it take for you to feel like you succeeded with the time you had?

What do you want to accomplish?

Who do you want to become?

What do you want your life with God to look like?

Now write the answers to your questions down. Write it anywhere you want, but then put it somewhere for you to look at… often!

We are all busy & it is easy to get distracted by the busyness of life and end up forgetting about our priorities. The answers that you have to these questions should be of the utmost importance for you to accomplish. When you look at your week right now, do you feel like you are sticking consistently with the priorities you have defined?

As humans, we have this bizarre way of thinking about our future selves as someone we will one day magically become or perhaps I should say, we think of our future life as something that will magically happen… but that’s not how it works.

You must build the life you are called to build. It isn’t going to just happen. It is you who must partner with God on this Earth to respond to the call He has put within you. It will take time. It will take sacrifice. It will take obedience. It will take failure. It will take persistence.

Creating the life you were born to create will without a doubt be the hardest thing you do… and it will be the one thing that is most worth doing.

God created you for a purpose. He put a plan in place for your life. This plan will not be forced upon you. It will be your job to fight to understand it, work to uncover it, and put the time into creating it.

Step 1. Create clarity by getting a vision of where you want to end up.

If you don’t have clarity, now is the time.

And don’t forget, the Earth is waiting for you to show up.

Want to go deeper? Listen to the podcast episode here:

A Few Words for the Girl In that White Dress

Get ready for your adventure to begin. You are beginning a long voyage and there is no way to prepare you for what lies ahead. Your life may turn out to be everything you expect or nothing that you predict, or perhaps it will be both, all rolled up into one glorious experience.

I would like to encourage you to let go of some of your expectations. You are predicting a fairy tale when your life will feel more like a rollercoaster.

You will have tough times ahead. It's ok. Every marriage does. Hold your head up. You are strong enough to do this.

Stop thinking you will do this perfect. You can’t. You will fail. It’s ok. Take a breath. Failure is full of opportunity if you let it unfold. Don’t hate your failure. Hate your fear.

Don’t listen to those who come only to tear you down, including those thoughts inside of yourself. They come only to keep you intimidated from unlocking your full potential.

People will look at you and judge how you live. Let them look. Let them judge. But don’t perform for them. Don’t try to be anything. Just be you.

You will doubt yourself but don’t for long. 

Press on and don’t stop. Ever. 

Stop looking around for other people to tell you that you are worthy. Stop it! You are worthy. It is not your husbands’, friends’, families’, or anyone else’s job to give you worth. You must find it yourself and own it. No one else can give it to you.

You are a wife now, you are not a trophy. You were not meant to be put on a shelf or in a box. You only need to be you. You are enough.

Remember to never compare your life to those around you. Your life will never look like “their” life. Ever. You can’t be them. You suck at being them. (Just trust me on this.) You, be you. It is the only person you can rock. So rock it.

Your life can be every bit of adventure that you predict; however, your adventure will be lived through the years of time. Your days may feel long, but your years will fly by.

Marriage is often entered with the thoughts of companionship, but there are days that marriage can feel very isolating. Don’t stay in isolation for long. Life must be lived with others. Don’t allow yourself to stay in seclusion. Reach out. Please. Seek support. 

Be resolute in not living a life full of secrets. It is not worth it.

Marriage can feel beautiful, wonderful, exhausting, difficult, horrible, exciting and can be the absolute best experience in this life. If possible, don't give up.

I pray that your husband is a kind, respectful, honest partner for you to live beside. However, no matter who he chooses to be. Remember not to lose yourself in your partnership. Never allow yourself to disappear. You are essential to this world.

We need you to be you.

Much love and many blessings, Haley

Ten Things to Know Before Starting a New Adventure

I am a lover of adventure, which works out well since this life is filled with it. I believe that adventure can be found in our everyday lives. It lies merely in our perception. Adventure can look like moving across the globe, starting a new career, or simply living with a new outlook. Whatever your adventure is, here are a few pointers that I have learned during the adventures that I have taken.

One. Beginning is half the battle.

When you have a dream or an idea, at some point, you need to simply start. Of course, it is good to wait for timing that works for your life, but I would hesitate to wait for the timing to be “perfect”. At some point you must stop talking about what you are going to do and just do it.

Two.  At times, you will want to quit.

Starting something new is always challenging, and most of us don’t enjoy being challenged. At times, the cost feels very high, particularly in moments that seemed discouraging. There are many reasons to quit something, but being “hard” is not a good reason. If it is truly an adventure that you wanted to start, don’t end it early. You must not quit.

Three. Prepare for people’s opinions to be a part of your journey.

Some people will be there to cheer you on and push you forward. Other people will be there to tell you that you should stop or that your adventure is a waste of time. They will tell you how you are doing things wrong. Some people will say nothing at all, and it will leave you guessing what they think. You must not get distracted by any of it. You see, you are not on this adventure for them. You are on this adventure for you. Keep your cheerleaders close though because you will need them when things get tough.

Four. Time will be your friend.

Don’t get overwhelmed by how difficult and time consuming things are in the beginning. With time, things will go smoother and be much simpler. Give yourself the time that you need to figure out how to master your quest.

Five. Breaks are necessary.

When you start something new, you need to allow time for breaks. Let yourself have time to rest whether it be for an hour, a day, a week or a month! Take a break, but don’t quit.

Six. Expect backlash.

This world has a way of hitting us hard, and that is never shown better than when we step out to start something new. Whether it be mean critics, poor timing, bad weather, relationship struggles or financial difficulty, it can feel like this world literally begins to revolt when we step foot on a new journey. Expect backlash. You didn’t start the journey because it was going to be easy. You started this journey because you felt the call for more. Don’t go back.

Seven. The key to your success will be in your expectations.

What are your expectations for your adventure? You must not expect quick success, overwhelming praise, or glorious riches. None of these things will be guaranteed. However, you can expect adventure. Your adventure will give you adventure. You can expect to grow. You can expect to learn about yourself. These things alone must be worth the adventure because nothing else is guaranteed. A true adventurer is driven merely with the desire to push for more out of this life and the desire to live this life to the fullest.  

Eight. Your adventure will make you feel vulnerable.

Starting something new is vulnerable. Always. When you begin to speak out into the world that you are starting a new voyage, the world will have something to say about it. You must be prepared for your journey to feel difficult and vulnerable. I say this not to discourage you, but to prepare you that the journey will most likely hit you where it hurts. The journey will challenge you not only in your strength, but especially in your weakness. The key here is not to lose your vulnerability. Do not allow the voyage to make you bitter or cynical. Vulnerability is one of your most treasured assets. Guard it with your life.

Nine. Your adventure is waiting on you.

No one is waiting to make your dream a reality. No one is going to do it for you. It won’t just fall in your lap and it won’t be served to you on a silver platter. If you want something out of this life, it is up to you and you alone will have to work for it.

Ten. Your adventure will not always feel like an adventure.

This is perhaps the most important thing to understand about adventure. There will be moments of your adventure that feel exhilarating and life changing, but the majority of your moments will feel quite mundane. Most of them will be simply about putting one foot in front of the other. Let’s not ever be under the impression that adventure is about mere excitement. Our adventure is about so much more than how we feel.

For us adventurers, life is simple. It is about getting off of our little behinds and choosing to go and live what is inside of us. We are not dictated by our fears. We are not motivated by others. We are not even driven by our destination.

We are driven by the desire to push ourselves. We are driven by the desire to explore the unknown and are not intimidated by the “what-ifs”.

Some people will love us for our adventure and some people will hate us, but it matters not, because we aren’t doing it for them. We are doing it for ourselves, so when we are at the end of our life, we won’t die with our life still inside of us. We are living it now. Leaving nothing left to be buried in our grave.

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