Dear 2016, You Were Rough.

Dear 2016, you were rough.

There is no way I could have predicted everything that you brought to my life. I’m not going to lie, you kind of exhausted me. In many ways I feel like you were a year filled with the time of ten years. I can hardly believe everything that I experienced in your mere twelve months of time.

You are a year that tested me in a unique way. You were filled with both exquisite gain and surprising loss. You brought with you moments of abundant laughter and deep sorrow. You brought many challenges that I didn’t expect. I didn’t enjoy those, but of course, it is in our most challenging days that we are given the greatest opportunity to learn and to grow.

I owe you a debt of gratitude. For who I am today is not who I was before you came to me.

You took a great deal from me, but you also gave me some things of immeasurable value. You have given me a new appreciation for my life and those whom I love. Actually, you have given me a great appreciation for everything in my life.

You reminded me just how silly it is to be attached to “things” and how vital it is to value the people I have in my life.

I have learned in the deepest part of me to stop waiting for tomorrow to live.

You offered me many moments to show people grace, forgiveness and love.  

You brought with you opportunities to be blessed in ways that I never expected to need a blessing.

You have taught me that even with the hardest work and effort, things sometimes just don’t work out.

You once again reminded me that life is not fair, and it is silly to focus on what is “fair” anyways.

You have shown me that joy truly does come in the morning; however, you also reminded me that the night can be long and very dark.

You gave me many opportunities to choose things that I didn’t feel but I believe to be true. You gave me opportunity to choose faith over doubt, hope over despair, and love over hate.

When I think back on you, I will look back at you with appreciation. You will always be a defining year of my life. You gave me many opportunities to determine who I really want to be in my life.

I am proud of the steps I have taken. I have walked many new places and tried many new things. I took risks. I didn’t “play it safe”. You gave me those chances, thank-you.

At times, I was not sure if you were my enemy or my friend, but you gave me the opportunity to live. Can I ever repay you for that?

So, 2016, I thank you. I am thankful for you, but it is time for you to go. It is now time to look forward to a new day.

Good-bye my friend,

Haley.

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When Choices Get You Down

The following is a guest post by my younger sister Chloe'. Chloe' is an amazing woman with an amazing perspective on life. Enjoy!

When Choices Get You Down

In life we will have many doors to walk through. We will make many decisions regarding the ones we open and the ones we close. We have the choice. This is where our free will comes in.

Oh, choices. These things have always been difficult for me.

Funny enough, choosing where to eat is one of the hardest decisions for me to make. Simple, yet so complex. My friends are always saying they're going to make me choose because I never do. Partially, because at times I genuinely just do not care. But to be honest, the main reason resonates within the fear of someone not liking the decision I make.

For whatever reason… Choices get me.

Have you ever had to make a choice and the fear of making the wrong one almost becomes crippling? Or perhaps others opinions of you "making the wrong choice" is enough to keep you from making any decision at all.

"What will they think of me if...?"

A question we all have asked ourselves, and a question that is dangerous to live by. We have given this question a position in our lives that it does not deserve. We have allowed it to be our filter, and direct our decision making, when we should never be asking for its two cents in the first place.

We must release others expectations of us. They are not ours to carry and they most definitely are not ours to use in order to operate our lives.

But it is not just others that I fear disappointing. I have also struggled with being afraid that I may disappoint my God. What if I make a choice different than the one He has planned for me?

Which job to pursue? Which boy to marry? Where to live? To have a kid or not have a kid? Quit the job or keep the job? We can see the doors opening yet we're hesitant to walk through them.

To be honest, the doors can seem more like an obstacle than an opportunity.

We start to think if we walk through Door 1 when we were supposed to walk through Door 2… The Lord is going to penalize us. Maybe He will be mad, maybe He will be disappointed in some way, maybe He will hold on to the blessings He was going to give us, or worse, He may punish us. Our thought process becomes skewed and we begin to make a decision (or not make a decision) out of fear. We pray and ask the Lord to give us a sign -- preferably a billboard with flashing lights or having something fall from the sky would suffice. Even if that sign must hit us in the head, as long as He lets us know if we're making the right decision. It's quite comical actually… In these moments we almost wish He would just make the decision for us, as if free will were not a thing at all.

We must not allow the weight of our choices to distract us from the faithfulness of our God.

What if it is not as much about the choice we make (destination), but the journey and what we learn in the process?

I do not believe my God turns his back on me when I might choose "wrong". I simply believe the Lord will meet me wherever I am! Praise God for his grace, am I right?

I firmly believe that the Lord has a plan for me, but I also firmly believe in the power of prayer. I do not want to disregard the significance of prayer and making decisions to align with God's will for my life. But what I do want to hit on is that my God is beside me through it all. And I most definitely don't think he is sitting around waiting to punish me the moment I walk through the "wrong" door. In the midst of my mistakes, in the midst of my wrong decisions, and in the midst of the highs and the lows... He holds me by his righteous right hand and He directs me with His peace.

I have walked through what some may consider "wrong doors" in my lifetime...

BUT THE LORD ALREADY KNEW I WAS GOING TO WALK THROUGH THOSE DOORs BEFORE I EVEN KNEW they were AN OPTION.

I can rest in the fact that His plan for my life is redemption and the journey is filled with grace, life lessons, and growth. It's up to me to accept His grace, make the effort to learn the lessons, and be willing to do whatever He asks of me to grow. Even when (not if-- but when) it's hard. 

It's our CHOICE and I pray that we decide to say "Yes, Lord" every single time.

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