Do You Feel Alone?
Do you feel alone? It is so easy to feel alone in this world. We can be in the middle of a crowded room, yet still feel alone. We may have hundreds or even thousands of “friends” and “followers”, yet feel completely isolated. We can talk with people, work with people, and live with people, yet no one knows what we are going through.
Why do so many people feel alone right now? Why do people feel so much anxiety, fear, and depression? Why are we so isolated? We have more ways to connect than ever before so how are we more disconnected than any other time in history?
I have had years of my life that I felt very isolated. There was so much going on within me that no one knew about.
I never intended to keep so much of myself a secret, it just happened
Most of the time, I felt great. I felt like a normal, connected person. A person that wasn’t alone until I would hit a struggle zone.
Maybe something had happened and it triggered anxiety. Maybe nothing had happened, but I felt anxious none the less.
I lived a life surrounded with people, but at times, felt completely alone.
The people in my life didn’t know the struggles I was going through because I was too afraid to tell them I was struggling. I hid it until it went away. It always went away… eventually.
I had learned to just wait it out.
I knew that if I opened up to someone, I might get rejected. They might say that what I felt was stupid or wrong. They might think I was a failure.
I didn’t want to be a failure. I liked to be a success.
I liked when people talked to me and saw that I had my shit together. And to be honest, most of the time, I did. But then sometimes, I felt so broken. I felt so discouraged. I felt so lost. And because I hadn’t ever told anyone about that part of myself, I felt so alone.
I am thankful to tell you that I haven’t felt alone for years.
Sincerely.
Don’t get me wrong, I have felt stressed, sad, anxious, and discouraged, but I don’t feel alone anymore. How is that possible?
Simple, I started letting people in.
Not people on my social media, real-life people.
I started to talk to my husband, I started being honest with my mom, I started sharing real life with my sisters, and I started being open with my friends.
Simply put, I started being honest and vulnerable.
When I was doing well, I was doing well. But when I wasn’t, I wasn’t.
I no longer just said, “I’m fine” whenever people asked and I no longer waited for them to ask.
I didn’t open up to everyone, just my people. The people that God had given me to find healing with.
To this day, when I am not doing well my people know. I will reach out to my husband if he doesn’t answer, my mom. If she can’t talk, my sister. If she is busy, a friend.
I do not joke around because I have found the amazing power of connection.
When I am struggling my people encourage me. They speak truth to me when all I can hear are the lies. They remind me who I am when I can’t seem to remember. They give me a direction when I feel lost.
My people pray for me. My people catch me when I fall. My people remind me that failing is ok. They encourage me when I am discouraged. They remind me that I have value even when I don’t perform well. They give me grace in a world that seems to be losing it. I love my people.
I do whatever it takes to feel connected. I call. I text. I email. I reach out until I find peace.
And don’t let anyone fool you because there is peace to be found in this world.
How do I know?
Because I have it.
I have found peace and much of that journey has come from learning to be real. Learning to risk being hurt in exchange for experiencing real relationships.
You see, I have finally found the key. As long as I was hiding my insecurities and my failures the people in my life could never fully love me.
Turns out, I was afraid that I wasn’t worthy to love if I had issues so I hid them.
News flash.
We all have issues.
However, our issues should not keep us from experiencing love.
Our fear of being rejected should not have the power to keep us alone.
If we don’t want to feel alone anymore it is quite simple. Start being honest about who you are. Stop letting fear tell you that you must keep your failures and your shortcomings a secret. Face your brokenness and invite someone into it.
Funny enough, my brokenness wasn’t actually the problem in my life. My brokenness was a gift for me to finally experience what I wanted all along.
Love.
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