I Am Insecure: Part Three {Rejection Sucks}

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Welcome back to our series on insecurity! Part One, we talked about finding “our person” and Part Two, we discussed facing our insecurity. We touched on it in Part One, but this week, we are going to further discuss the fear and risk of rejection when we are honest about our insecurities.  

Rejection sucks.

I hate it.

  This is where all of this “talk” about insecurities becomes very difficult. In a perfect world, I would simply say…

“Let’s choose to confront our insecurities and talk them out with someone in our life.  Let’s talk with our dad… wife… sister… or friend… and tell them everything, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Don’t worry, they will love us because that is what love does. Love loves despite imperfection and regardless of failure.”

However, we all know that it is not that simple.

Being rejected by someone we trust is heart wrenching. These are the moments that we expected unconditional love, but we didn’t receive it. They told us they would never leave us... but they did. We opened up to them only to have them tell us that we weren’t worth loving.

 The times that we long to be chosen, but aren’t, can be some of the most powerful experiences in our lives.

I am convinced that our experiences with rejection greatly shape how we live. Rejection alters the way we see ourselves and our imperfections.

Rejection tries to define us as "unworthy to love" in our current condition.

If you struggle being honest about your internal struggles, start small. Find someone you trust and risk rejection. It is not necessary to tell everyone in your life every insecurity you have. Start by telling just one person and then see if you feel the need to talk to anyone else. Keeping it more private allows you to be able focus on healing and not on everyone’s differing perceptions and opinions.

If you have had repeated rejection by those who are close to you, I might recommend reaching out to a counselor to help you take wise & personalized steps as you open yourself back up to vulnerability.

Rejection sucks, but there is something that I believe sucks greater than rejection.

 Loneliness.

I have learned through the years that keeping up the appearance of perfection is quite exhausting and lonely. I fail to see the point in living a life that isn’t lived to the fullest, honestly and authentically. We either learn to let people into our vulnerable places, or we live a life of pretending to be something we aren't.

I want to be chosen, but I want to be chosen for who I really am.

I wish, with all of my heart and soul that I could tell you that you will be loved in this life no matter what, but I can’t. Unfortunately,  in this world, love is often very conditional. Things would be so much simpler if love never failed, but it often does fail, because love is only as foolproof as the people giving it… and people fail.

Rejection sucks, but experiencing unconditional love is more than worth the risk. Some of the most meaningful experiences of my life thus far are the moments that someone has chosen to love me in my imperfections and failure.

I will never forget the times that I have sat down, defeated, broken-hearted and ashamed, looked into the eyes across from me and heard the words,

“I love you still”.

 

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