When Being Me Feels Like It's Not Enough
From early on in life, we are compared to one another. It is amazing how we naturally begin to measure our value by the people around us.
Growing up, I was surrounded by a lot of very successful people, some of which were my sisters. I have four sisters and two sister-in-laws. They are all gorgeous and extremely talented. Through the years, my sisters have accomplished many wonderful things that I have not.
My older sister, Hannah, was very good at track in high school. She even medaled at state. Both she and my sister, Ivy, were the student body presidents. Ivy ran track in college. She achieved a 4.0 GPA all the way through graduating and is now finishing up her masters. Chloe played basketball, received the 1,000 career point’s award, and made the All-District team. She made All-District, All-Conference, and All-Region for volleyball, and received a scholarship to play in college. My brother’s wife, Sara, high-jumped and placed nationally on the collegiate level. Carter’s sister, Kristina, is a breathtaking dancer. She started dancing at the age of four, completed a degree in Dance Performance, and continues to teach and choreograph. My youngest sister, Haven, is on the Paralympic emerging swim team and hopes to attend the 2020 Paralympics in Tokyo.
Having a bunch of ridiculously talented sisters gave me a lot of opportunities to feel insecure. I had to choose how I was going to view their success.
Was I going to measure my value based on my performance compared to theirs?
Truth is, it is all too easy to try to prove our worth by achieving more; however, measuring ourselves by other people’s accomplishments is problematic. We were never meant to be measured by the bar of their potential. The potential inside of them is completely different than the potential inside of me. It’s not greater or less than, just different.
When we aren’t confident in who we are, it can suck to watch other people succeed. It can make us feel ashamed and like we have failed to measure up. We may appear confident, but we are actually struggling with our value internally.
I decided to embrace the fact that my life was going to look different than all of my sisters. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t have accomplished all the things they did because I realized that I wasn’t capable of doing what they could. I cannot do what everyone else can. I just can’t. I can do some things really well, but I suck at a whole lot of other things, and that’s ok.
Turns out I can’t be anyone else but me. But, I can be me pretty damn well.
We all have to make a choice in our lives to embrace who we are and what we have. We can spend our lives trying to prove to the world that we are just as good as everyone else, but any moment spent trying to prove our value is a moment wasted. If we are trying to prove our value, that means we, ourselves, don’t know our worth.
Our value doesn’t need to be proven, it just needs to be discovered.
It is ok if you have failed to accomplish the same things as those around you. It’s not just ok, it’s expected. You are you and they are them. Let’s realize the beauty of that. Our differences should not bring shame, but pride. It isn’t in the things we all have in common, but our uniqueness, that will bring change to this world.
If we cannot learn the beauty of our differences, we will spend our life trying to be something we aren’t. Let’s be determined to embrace ourselves, quirkiness and all.
