REDEMPTION UNVEILED

marriage, love, relationship, relationships Haley Carter marriage, love, relationship, relationships Haley Carter

What Is Love?

In honor of Carter and I celebrating our thirteenth wedding anniversary, I decided to write about love. What is love? Here is a bit of what love is to me. “Love is surprisingly exciting and exceptionally mundane. It is found in traveling around the world together, but also sitting on the couch…” What is love to you?

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Love is surprisingly exciting and exceptionally mundane. It is found in traveling around the world together, but also sitting on the couch.

Love is dreaming big plans, but living on a budget. Love is joining your hopes together and knowing the risk. Love is taking a chance.

Love is living in the moment, but sticking through the years.

Love is not having to wonder what they say when you’re not there. Love is being valued. Love is feeling safe.

Love is being chosen.

Love is being listened to even when they’re tired. Love is being encouraged, lifted up, and held high. Love is being heard.

Love is being told the truth. Love is forgiving.

Love is telling the truth. Love is being forgiven.

Love is laughing together, but also wiping one another’s tears. Love is being broken, but finding the path to wholeness, hand in hand.

Love is not only about saying the sweet things, but being willing to say the hard things, too.

Love is butterflies, hugs, and kisses. Love is special dinner dates and boring Tuesdays. Love is evening walks and late night talks. Love is dancing in the kitchen and dreaming on the porch.

Love is finding freedom. Love is having self-control.

Love is against all odds.

Love is you. Love is me. Love is us. Together Forever. I love you, babe. Happy Anniversary.

-Your Gal

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Ten Keys to Experiencing Long-Lasting Love

There is nothing simple or easy about love. If you want to find love that lasts through the years, you will need to be ready to experience a lot of ups and downs.

I have been in a relationship with the same man for 17 years.

No breaks.

No separations.

Let me tell you some of the things that I have learned about love after being with the same man for over half of my life.

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There is nothing simple or easy about love. If you want to find love that lasts through the years, you will need to be ready to experience a lot of ups and downs.

I have been in a
relationship with the same man for 17 years.

No breaks.

No separations.

Let me tell you
some of the things that I have learned about love after being with the same man
for over half of my life.

Love doesn’t
always feel passionate.

I will never
forget the first time I looked at Carter and felt nothing. No passion. No
excitement. We were dating, and I almost broke up with him. By the next week my
feelings were back and felt stronger than ever.

Moral of the
story, it happens.

If you want to
be with someone long-term, understand that at times, it can feel quite mundane
and BORING!

To this day, if we are in a season that feels a tad dull, I almost get excited because I know with a little effort I can turn dull back into exciting passion. It’s like falling in love all over again, and I love it!

Make an effort.

In relationships
it is SO easy to be aware of everything your partner is NOT doing. But what are
you doing? Never stop making an effort to show them you love them.

Let’s be clear,
there is no magic formula that makes love fun. Your relationship will be what
you both decide it to be. It should not be any surprise that if you choose not
to prioritize your relationship it will show.

Your love will
be what you both choose to make it.

Find adventure
together.

What adventures
do you want to have in this life? Do you want to travel? Would you like to
start your own company? Do you want to have children? Do you want to adopt?

Talk about what
you want out of this life and then talk about it some more.

No matter what
adventures you choose, laugh and have fun as you live it.

Before you
commit to someone, be sure that you are on the same page on what you want out
of this adventurous life!

Don’t settle.

I never settled.
From the very beginning I knew what I wanted from a partner. I wouldn’t have
accepted anything less. I knew what my goals were for my life, and I
continually asked Carter if those would work for him.

Before you
commit to someone, it is very important to talk and talk A LOT. Do not
compromise too much because you may find that you resent them later for keeping
you from what you really wanted out of life.

Be honest.

In my opinion,
honesty is an absolute necessity for a relationship. Don’t want to live honest?
Not fair. Being in a relationship with a person who is not honest is like being
in a relationship with a shadow.

Choose to be
real. Be seen. Experience love.

Give them what
they need. Not what you need.

Find out what
makes your partner feel valued. Do that for them. Don’t love them how you want
to be loved, love them how they want to be loved.

Long lasting
love will involve heartbreak. Don’t be surprised, but don’t give up.

If you choose to
live life with another human for an extended amount of time, it will include
disappointment and heartbreak. We all have our issues and unfortunately, it is
not all that rare to find yourself feeling betrayed by someone you love.

You will never
find someone perfect. Choose to be with the person that is worth the hassle.

Believe in
Redemption. Believe in Restoration.

Value one
another.

Does this seem
like a stupid thing to put on the list?

Well, let me
tell you, it can be harder than you think to value someone after years
together. It is easy to get discouraged with the way your partner lives.

Honor your
partner.

Sure, they’ve
got their issues. I know. We all do. Find things that you love, respect and
admire and honor them for being who they are. Quirks and all.

Never stop
choosing one another.

Don’t stop
experiencing life together. Don’t stop talking about your hopes, goals and
fears.

Continue to
learn about yourself and continue to learn about one another.

Find enough
things to keep you connected. This doesn’t mean you do everything together, but
find a way that makes you both feel like you are on the same page and working
toward the same overall goals.

It take two to
tango.

Now this is
possibly the hardest part of a relationship. No matter what, it takes two.

Don’t get me
wrong, there will be times because of health, stress, or situations that one of
you may feel like you are putting in more effort than the other and that is
part of it.

However, no
matter the effort or desire of one person to make a relationship work, it truly
does take two. It doesn’t always have to be exactly equal or always fair, but
it does have to at least be two people who choose one another and choose to put
an effort into the relationship.

Love.

It is not what I
expected, but is way better than I ever could’ve hoped.

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A Letter to my {Not So} Romantic Husband on this Romantic Holiday

Babe,

Here we are again. This is our 17th Valentine’s Day together and I would say we have the swing of it at this point.

I love that I know there is a 99% chance there are no surprises coming. (Although those two times you surprised me were pretty fun!)

I love that we both laughed this morning when I asked if you had a surprise get-a-way to the Bahamas planned for today. I love that I asked you if I should pick up my own chocolate covered strawberries or if you had it covered.

I love that at some point I know I will probably receive a card from you that looks like it was painted by Bob Ross and I will roll my eyes and laugh at your card picking skills. I love that I won’t be surprised by anything you say in the card because I know exactly how you feel about me...

KISS.jpg

Babe,

Here we are again. This is our 17th Valentine’s Day together and I would say we have the swing of it at this point.

I love that I know there is a 99% chance there are no surprises coming. (Although those two times you surprised me were pretty fun!)

I love that we both laughed this morning when I asked if you had a surprise get-a-way to the Bahamas planned for today. I love that I asked you if I should pick up my own chocolate covered strawberries or if you had it covered.

I love that at some point I know I will probably receive a card from you that looks like it was painted by Bob Ross and I will roll my eyes and laugh at your card picking skills. I love that I won’t be surprised by anything you say in the card because I know exactly how you feel about me.

I love that I don’t need a card.

 I love that you helped get the kiddos ready this morning and gave each of us a hug and kiss before you left. And I love that it is no different than any other morning.

I love that we may do a romantic date night this weekend or we may stay home and make pizzas with the kids. I love that either way I know we will have a great time.

I love that I no longer need you to prove anything to me on this particular day. I love that I have zero expectations.

I don’t need you to prove your love for me today because you prove your love for me every day.

Of course, we have had holidays that I did have expectations and felt very disappointed. But through the years, I think I have learned what love is really about.

Love isn’t about celebrating on the big days. Love is about appreciating the normal days.

Love is not about big acts, but small ones.

Every time you come home and the house is a wreck and you don’t say a thing.

Every time you help me fold and put away the mountain of laundry that I have gotten behind on.

Every time you do the dishes at the end of a long day and don’t mind if I sit.

Every time you get up with the kids in the night without me asking you to do it.

Every time you answer a call or text from me and listen to me rant about something I am frustrated by.

Every time you encourage me to keep moving forward in my hopes. Every time you listen to me share my fears. Every time you give me grace when I fail.

Every time you accept me right where I am, but encourage me to keep moving forward.

Days like these make me sit back and think about how blessed I am that I no longer need you to prove your love for me because you really have done that well.

I love you, babe.

 

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