Why Do People Lie?

Living an honest, genuine life comes at a cost and I have found not everyone is willing to pay the price.

It can feel so natural to tell a simple lie to avoid difficulty or awkwardness in our life. There are many reasons we choose to lie, here are six that I have come across…

1- To avoid conflict

One of the most common reasons people lie is to avoid conflict. Many of us view conflict as a negative experience and struggle to say difficult things. During times of conflict or disagreement, it can seem simpler to answer dishonestly while keeping our true feelings to ourselves.

Unfortunately, people who choose to avoid facing conflict are also people who will end up walking away from a lot of relationships.

You cannot have meaningful, long-lasting relationships without choosing to face conflict.

2- To avoid accountability

In my opinion, the second most common reason people lie is to avoid accountability. It is simple, we want to do what we want to do. We know if we share the truth people will try to stop us, so we don’t share.

3- Not ready to discuss a topic or don’t believe you have a right to the truth

There are times we are not ready to discuss a certain topic or someone asks us something that is, well frankly, none of their business. When we have this happen, many of us choose a simple lie to avoid the topic.

4- In the moment, we believe what we are saying

Some lies aren’t as much planned deceit but actually more of an inability to follow through.

Meaning, if I tell Carter today, “I love you and I want to be with you forever.” But, tomorrow, he makes me mad and I no longer want to be with him, so I tell him, “I don’t love you anymore. I want to leave you.”

Perhaps I believe both statements to be true when I say them, but I have an inability to follow through long-term. I have given my emotions too much control over my life.

As adults, we should be capable of following through with our words even when we don’t feel like it.

5- To create an alternate reality

I think when many of us hear the word “liar” we think of this type of lying. When people choose to live secret lives and lie to cover their tracks. This kind of lifestyle requires that we not only avoid topics, but we create “stories” to keep our secret life flourishing. The longer we do this, the more stories we will have to create to cover our tracks.

When it all comes crashing down (it always does… eventually) we will cause a lot of hurt to the people who trusted us.

6- For fun

There are people in this world that simply lie for the fun of it. They like to manipulate people and it makes them feel powerful to convince people that their lies are in fact truth. These people are master manipulators and are often difficult to detect.

Each and every one of us gets to choose the level of honesty we live in our life.

I believe it is powerful to own the truth and speak the truth even when it is difficult or awkward.

I believe the relationships in my life are worth confronting and I believe it is my job to follow through on what I say even when I no longer feel like following through.

I do not believe in living a life of pretend where I make up an alternate reality that doesn’t actually exist.

I believe in owning who I am and being honest about my intentions in life.

These are the things I believe…

What about you?

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