I Couldn't Believe What She Posted about Me...
I’ll never forget the moment.
I had woken up and was lying in bed. During this time of my life, I was trying to be more disciplined with being on Social Media. I had recognized the many downsides and certainly didn’t love the habit of hopping onto Social Media before my feet even hit the floor.
Before I picked up my phone, I felt a gentle reminder from the Holy Spirit of my goals. Despite that, I opened my phone, checked the weather, read my daily scripture, and thought to myself, what could it hurt? Just a little peak.
To my surprise, it turned out to hurt a lot.
As I was participating in the mindless scroll of Facebook that we all know and love. (Not really, we all know and hate it, but we love it, but we hate it too. UGH!) I continued to scroll and paused to read a friend of mine’s post from the night before & I was stopped in my tracks.
Before my eyes, one of my Christian “friends” had made a post… about me.
It wasn’t just about me, but it was about my ministry. It was how I had chosen to speak. It was about the choices I had made. It didn’t name be by name, but it didn’t need to.
I knew.
After reading it quickly. I read over it again slowly, and again just for good measure. I closed my eyes. I put down my phone and could feel the tears coming. I felt panicked. The world felt like it was closing in. I had to do something. I had to stand.
Carter was in the bathroom getting ready for work and I thought, I need to tell him. Now.
I climbed out of bed and walked toward him. With each step I took, I felt more panicked. I felt hot, short-breathed, & lightheaded. I thought to myself, I might faint.
I walked toward my husband who doesn’t have social media and had started his day like we all used to… just getting ready with his own thoughts and not the opinions of everyone in the world.
As I finally reached him, he looked into my face and said, “What’s wrong?” with a mixture of surprise and confusion. What could be wrong? I had just woken up, hadn’t I? What could’ve happened?
Turns out, a lot.
A lot can happen when you open yourself up to the opinions of others.
You see, this was the first time someone I knew had publicly shamed me and disagreed with me online about my stance in life.
This wasn’t a comment on my post. This was a post on her own page. Back in the day when we all simply posted statuses. It had no photo. No video. No trending audio and no cute reel.
It was simply words.
But it was enough. It was enough to make me feel ashamed. Alone. Embarrassed. Misunderstood.
I couldn’t decide which one bothered me more. Her words or that the first person who liked the post was a woman who I deeply respected. I felt even more embarrassed by their joint attack.
It hurt.
I had been putting myself out of my comfort zone for several years. I felt alone at times. I felt embarrassed often. I doubted myself but constantly went back to trying to be obedient to what God had been asking me to do. Day by day, I was learning humility and walking in obedience.
I knew not everyone agreed. I knew many didn’t care.
I knew that the path I was walking was hard, yet I also knew that the path I was walking was changing the world, not because it was changing anyone else, but because it was changing me.
Yet, here it was. One of my fears.
Being misunderstood by a friend.
Not just any “friend”, but a Christian sister.
Being attacked. Being shamed. I knew there were people who didn’t agree, but I didn’t expect to be so blatantly called out and shamed.
Betrayal sucks.
In the Christian world, I believe it should be non-existent.
But it is.
It is just as prevalent in the Christian Culture as it is outside. Except, I think we can all agree that it is worse. It is worse because we expect love. We expect safety. We expect support.
This was years ago, looking back I know I was immature in my expectations for complete safety & support in the internet world. However, I am a firm believer that Christians should be better. We should be much better at relationships.
In fact, I actually think we should be the rock stars of Relationships. We should be rocking our ability to love amazing while having boundaries that work, and processing our betrayals in the best way.
Because we have the best God ever who loves us unconditionally, with a lot of instructions on how to live, and the complete ability to redeem all things. (He is the best!)
So today, I am here to tell you, if you have been shamed by a fellow Christian friend. I’m sorry.
It hurts. I know.
It sucks. For sure.
However, no matter what, I want you to know that how you process this betrayal matters. What you believe is important. What you do is vital.
If this conversation meant anything to you, then you need to do two things:
First, listen to this podcast episode with my friend Chrysten Ferrell. It is so good and it will help you.
Second, download my FREE, personalized betrayal guide at www.yourbetrayalguide.com. You can choose the relationship that has betrayed you and you will receive a personalized guide on what to do.