REDEMPTION UNVEILED
Get A Vision for Your Life
It has become obvious to me that if we want to take the Adventure God has for us then we need to have some sort of idea where we are headed.
You need a vision for your life.
ASAP.
There truly is no need to wait any longer. You need to identify where you are going and what you are doing with the time you have on this Earth.
I think as Christians we struggle with living a broad approach to life. We are taught what our morals should be and then we just live. However, I would like to challenge this approach. I think we can do better. I think we should do better.
I wish that every single Christian could realize the vital importance of identifying where they believe God is calling them in this life and live very intentionally to get there. Not rushing ahead of God but being very aware of the great responsibility we have to take our time seriously.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not here to tell you to cause you to panic about your Christianity. That’s not my job.
My job is to encourage you to show up for the grand Adventure God created you for so that you don’t go to bed feeling like something is missing. I want to help you organize your life so that you don’t end up disappointed with your time on this earth.
So, first things first. Get a vision.
I want you for a second to think about being 90 years old. Perhaps you know that your life is nearing its end. What would it take for you to feel like you succeeded with the time you had?
What do you want to accomplish?
Who do you want to become?
What do you want your life with God to look like?
Now write the answers to your questions down. Write it anywhere you want, but then put it somewhere for you to look at… often!
We are all busy & it is easy to get distracted by the busyness of life and end up forgetting about our priorities. The answers that you have to these questions should be of the utmost importance for you to accomplish. When you look at your week right now, do you feel like you are sticking consistently with the priorities you have defined?
As humans, we have this bizarre way of thinking about our future selves as someone we will one day magically become or perhaps I should say, we think of our future life as something that will magically happen… but that’s not how it works.
You must build the life you are called to build. It isn’t going to just happen. It is you who must partner with God on this Earth to respond to the call He has put within you. It will take time. It will take sacrifice. It will take obedience. It will take failure. It will take persistence.
Creating the life you were born to create will without a doubt be the hardest thing you do… and it will be the one thing that is most worth doing.
God created you for a purpose. He put a plan in place for your life. This plan will not be forced upon you. It will be your job to fight to understand it, work to uncover it, and put the time into creating it.
Step 1. Create clarity by getting a vision of where you want to end up.
If you don’t have clarity, now is the time.
And don’t forget, the Earth is waiting for you to show up.
Want to go deeper? Listen to the podcast episode here:
Home Sweet Home {One Year Later}
One year ago, today, our house caught on fire. It has been quite the eventful past year! Thankfully, we have moved back into our house and we are loving every minute of it! Here's a bit of an update on our home and family. I hope you are doing well my friend, Haley.
One year ago, today, our home caught on fire.
Thankfully, it was not a total loss. Just the walls, part of the roof, our ceilings, insulation, cabinets, doors, windows, and a good chunk of our stuff.
The home we had remodeled for five months quickly turned into a total gut job. Awesome.
Fast forward seven months and we were able to move into our home again. This time everything was brand new and quite lovely.
We moved back into our house the exact same week that we bought our house last year, the last week of April. How is that for coincidence? Haha. It was the week after I turned THIRTY. I told Carter that I have now been “given” a house two years in a row for my birthday, so I have a pretty high bar for next year. Haha! Actually, to be honest, the only thing I would like for my birthday next year is to NOT move into ANY house!
We are home and we are so very happy.
We are settled, our house is decorated and every box is unpacked. Our garage is even cleaned out. (And some people don’t believe in miracles!)
We did it.
Our home is finished and quite beautiful. Did you hear that? FINISHED! Who knew that we would ever say that?!
It took us a LONG time to get here but we have arrived. We have had so many work days on this house, pre-fire and post-fire.
When the day finally came to move in, we had the kids stay the night with their grandparents and we finished moving into our house without telling them! Carter and I loaded the rest of our furniture and whatever I could fit into my van. (Why do I not think moving boxes are necessary??? Because I am an idiot. That's why.)
We unloaded our furniture, just the two of us, into our completely restored home. To be honest, we have dozens of people that would have been happy to help us with our FINAL move in, but it was therapeutic to do it ourselves. Well, for me at least. I loved bringing every single item into our home and deciding where it should belong.
We set up our furniture, made beds and set up the kids’ playroom. I wanted my kids to instantly feel at home when they walked in. No more being unsettled.
The next morning we brought them HOME. They were so surprised! It was amazing.
Within ten minutes, Mayliss had found the nail polish and was going wild with it. (Not surprising.) And within thirty minutes, Shep had gone missing. Upon doing a quick search, I found him alone in his bedroom with his Army guys scattered everywhere.
My heart was happy.
We were home.
We moved home at the end of April and I took a break from my writing and Social Media to focus on my family and getting us settled back into our normal lives. Whatever normal is?
Each day as I have organized and decorated I have tried to process the past year of our lives.
What in the world happened?
Things did not go as we planned. That's what happened. We had a plan, but our plan was taken from us. Without notice we found ourselves with a different path. We had no choice but to accept this *new plan*, but the process felt very disappointing. Funny enough, we actually became more excited with the new plan than our original one. Which is wonderful, but it did not make the experience any easier.
This past year was exhausting.
We had many moments of disappointment and discouragement. It was challenging and very stretching to feel so unsettled with our family of five for an entire year.
I have finally come up with the perfect word to sum up everything we went through this past year…
Life.
Life happened.
This is it. In all of its glory. Life brings us plans that we don’t want, but we have to take. I have learned that my life is much better if I choose to be appreciative of what I have instead of focused on everything I don't.
This life hands us things that we don’t expect and we didn’t ask for. We don’t get to pick what we are given, but we do get to pick how we play our hand. We may not always love what we have been dealt, but let's not forget to enjoy the game.
I will leave you with some pictures of our beautiful home...
Blessings my friends. -Haley
Stop Waiting. Live NOW. {Video}
What are your thoughts about the New Year to come? Do you have any goals or plans for your life? Check out my latest vlog as I share some of my thoughts on why you should definitely shoot for your goals in 2017!
It Doesn't Hurt Us to Wait
During the first few days after our house fire I could not quite pin-point what I was most upset about. Before this, I always thought the most difficult part of a house fire (without injuries) was the loss of “stuff”, but for me the hardest part wasn’t the stuff. The stuff was just stuff...
During the first few days after our house fire I could not quite pin-point what I was most upset about. Before this, I always thought the most difficult part of a house fire (without injuries) was the loss of “stuff”, but for me the hardest part wasn’t the stuff. The stuff was just stuff.
Two weeks before it happened we had decided we would officially finish being in “remodel” mode. We had a long list of projects still to-do, but we knew it was time to settle in and begin to live life again. One more “big” project and then we would be done with the biggest parts of our remodel.
Like most of us, we have had to wait for many things in our lives. For us, this house represented so many of our dreams finally coming true. We have long desired to have a house in the country, with a little bit of land, the kids and the pets. In many ways, we felt like we had “arrived” somewhere we had been trying to get for the past ten years. Finally.
It was time to rest.
When our house went up in smoke I felt like more was taken from us than our stuff. I felt like I was watching both my future and my past go up in flames. This wasn’t the plan. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I wanted to be in my house. I wanted to be living my dream. I didn’t want to wait anymore.
I wanted my dream now… not later.
I felt like we had arrived at the finish line and someone was asking us to start the race back from the beginning. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to do it all again. Did I even have it in me? Honestly, at first, I didn’t know. And I didn’t want to know.
I knew that eventually everything would work out. I knew we would regain everything we had lost, but I knew it wouldn’t be today. It was the time that I felt we had lost and the time I felt we had to wait that seemed more than I could bear.
“It doesn’t hurt us to wait.”
I have probably said this a hundred times to my kids. But truthfully, at times, I am telling myself just as much as I am telling them. Why in the world is waiting so damn hard?
Waiting is simply being. Waiting gives us an opportunity to rest. But often times we don’t choose to rest, we choose to become restless. In the world we live in, waiting and resting are under-rated. Many of us don’t know how to rest and we don’t understand the value of it.
It is funny because I was looking forward to a season of rest and now I am in one. Of course, it’s not like I expected it to look.
Welcome to life, Haley, it is full of surprises.
Sure, my home is completely gutted… well… besides the room of ash. But hey, we have been given a wonderful place to live while we wait. We have had every single need met and more. We have been reminded that we have the most amazing people in our lives that have been here to support us through every step. We have each other. We are doing great.
I will now use this time as an opportunity to learn how to wait better and rest deeper. I am reminded again that my happiness in this life has little to do with my desires being fulfilled and everything to do with my willingness to appreciate what I have been given.
Sure, I have lost my house for now. But I’ll get it back.
Let me tell you though, I will not be waiting until then to
“live the dream”.
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When My Plans Became My Enemy
There is something you need to know about me. I am a recovering list maker, plan constructor, control freak. For most of my life, I have LOVED to have a plan and I did not like it if the plan didn’t go as I expected. The first ten years of Carter’s and my relationship were commonly filled with times that I was angry because circumstances didn’t go as I had hoped...
There is something you need to know about me. I am a recovering list maker, plan constructor, control freak. For most of my life, I have LOVED to have a plan and I did not like it if the plan didn’t go as I expected. The first ten years of Carter’s and my relationship were commonly filled with times that I was angry because circumstances didn’t go as I had hoped.
He told me he would be home at 5:00, but it was actually 5:30. I wanted to have the house COMPLETELY cleaned before the party, but I didn’t have time to get it all done. I was excited for our date, but he didn’t even tell me I looked beautiful. He went to the store, but he forgot to get milk, the one thing I needed him to get. I wanted to be in great shape before the event, yet I never started working out. We were trying to be on time, but we were late, again. I thought he had planned a surprise for our anniversary, but he hadn’t planned anything. I wanted to get everything on my list done, but I couldn’t.
Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t a complete bitch all of the time, but I would really struggle when things didn’t turn out as I expected. For the past five years, I have experienced a complete transformation in this area of my life.
So how did I ever let go of my tight hold on the plans I had?
First, I found myself in a difficult season of life that I hadn’t planned and I didn’t see coming. Carter had lost his job. I began working more because we had lost our health insurance. We were in the adoption process to adopt our second child, Shepherd, from the DR Congo. (Anyone who has adopted knows that it does not go according to “plan”.) We were experiencing difficulties in several of our close relationships. During this all, we were trying to become adjusted to having our first daughter, Epsie, and staying connected in our marriage.
Life had handed me situations that I wasn’t expecting, it hadn’t asked for my permission and I didn’t have a plan on how to “handle” it.
Knock. Knock.
Who’s there?
Life and it doesn’t always consider your “plans”.
Another major thing that has taught me to be more adaptable is having children. Kids don’t care about your plans. They don’t care if you’re late, if your house is messy or if you had one more errand to do before they are “done”. Kids have their own plans. I have realized that my plans of having a “perfect house” with a “perfect family” in a “perfect world” are unrealistic. I was finding myself discontent and when it comes to my kids, I am unwilling to miss out merely because it has turned out to be a different experience than I was expecting.
Now looking back, I realize that I was struggling with feeling disappointed. Once I felt disappointed, I would shut down and push Carter (or anyone else) away because I felt he didn’t care. I slowly began to realize how spoiled I had been acting.
I had a picture of how things should go.
It was my vision and it revolved around one person, me.
I realize now that I was behaving like a two year old who would throw a fit if I didn’t get exactly what I wanted, when I wanted it.
When is the last time your day/night/vacation/date/morning was ruined because it didn’t go the way you were expecting? No matter how hard you try, no matter how well you plan. Life will happen. Time will pass faster than expected. Not everything will get done. People will not behave exactly as you want (nor should they). Your expectations will go unmet and all you will be left with is a choice.
Yes, you have a choice.
I used to tell myself I didn’t have a choice. I was mad and I couldn’t help it, but that wasn’t true. I had a choice and you have a choice, the choice to make the best of our circumstances. As I often tell my kids, “We can’t choose how we feel, but we can choose how we act”. We need to take responsibility for our attitudes and recognize our power to choose.
You have every right to feel disappointed. You can even feel angry. You may very well need to have a conversation with someone about how you are feeling, but then choose to let it go and move on. Choose to make the best of your new circumstances.
A little secret I’ll let you in on…
A beautiful thing happens when we release our anger after not getting our way, we have the opportunity to realize that maybe our plan wasn’t the best all along. If we allow ourselves a moment to be disappointed and then look around, we might see that we have a whole lot to be thankful for and perhaps the only thing keeping us from having the best life is actually ourselves.