The Real Reason They Lied to Us

We have all been lied to. It is never fun, but it is devastating whenever someone we trust betrays us. When we find out that someone we are in a relationship with has lied to us, it leaves us feeling dazed and confused. Many of us look back and think, “Where did I go wrong?”

No matter what happened in our relationship, there is no reason for us to take responsibility for them choosing to be dishonest. (Although, often times they will try to make it our fault.)

They didn’t lie to us because of who we are. They lied to us because of who they are.

They didn’t lie to us because we did things wrong. They lied to us because they did things wrong.

They didn’t lie because of us at all. They lied because in that moment it seemed easier than facing the truth.

People who lie do not see the necessity in filtering their words through truth. They view their words as a tool that can be molded to fit the moment. They have not learned how to navigate through confrontation, so they have chosen to avoid uncomfortable conversations or circumstances by using “versions” of the “truth”.

The problem with this is that truth has no versions.

However, lying is not simply about valuing truth. Lying is a direct result of the ability (or inability) to withstand pressure. Lying is used as a fleeing tactic that allows for a quick exit during intense situations. People lie to avoid. People lie when they are scared.

People who lie also have a tendency to leave relationships. They don’t know how to face difficulty, so they run. They run from the confrontation they face in this world and they even run from the conflict within themselves. During these moments, they aren’t thinking about us. They aren’t even thinking about truth. They are thinking about how they don’t want to face the situation… so they don’t.

The interesting thing about people who live dishonest lives is that I don’t believe many of them see themselves as dishonest. They actually see themselves more as peace lovers. They believe it is simpler to keep peace if they simply adjust truth. They don’t seem to realize the grave consequence of not living in truth.

Dishonest people are not peace keepers they are conflict avoiders. Big difference.

When a person lies, they must then live in the multiple realities they have created. It is as if these multiple lives divide their soul. A soul was not meant to be divided. We were meant to be a whole, unified person living one life.

A life lived dishonestly is only a mere reflection of a life. 

It is very difficult to be in a relationship with people who view lying as an option for communication. It is difficult to know who they actually are.

They are like shapeshifters that form into whoever is convenient to be at the time.

Who are they really? There is no way to answer this question because they themselves do not even know. They fail to realize that when they choose not to face adversity, they are sadly denying themselves the opportunity to learn who they are.

If you have ever been betrayed by someone you trust, I am sorry. It wasn’t you. It was them. I am sorry for every single time someone has chosen convenience over reality. I hope that they have since chosen to live in truth, but if they haven’t, there is nothing you can do.

They are not dishonest because you are not worthy of truth. They are dishonest because they do not understand that they are worthy of truth.

You are worth real. You are worth honest.

No matter how much they say otherwise, never again make the mistake of taking someone else’s choices as your responsibility. They must own their choices, just as you must own yours. Own your life and live in truth.

For a life lived without truth, is no life at all.

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