REDEMPTION UNVEILED
Defining My Relationship with Self-Pity
For a multitude of reasons, I found myself discouraged this week. I had a sick baby, some disappointments, a touch of rejection and other routine life “stuff”. All week I had a nagging, unwelcome visit from a long-time frenemy, Self-Pity.
Self-Pity and I grew up together and became friends at a young age. I thought we had a true friendship, but the more time I spent with her, the more I realized that she wasn’t my friend.
She has a way of masking her true intentions...
For a multitude of reasons, I found myself discouraged this week. I had a sick baby, some disappointments, a touch of rejection and other routine life “stuff”. All week I had a nagging, unwelcome visit from a long-time frenemy, Self-Pity.
{Merriam-Webster defines a frenemy as one who pretends to be a friend but is actually an enemy.}
Self-Pity and I grew up together and became friends at a young age. I thought we had a true friendship, but the more time I spent with her, the more I realized that she wasn’t my friend.
She has a way of masking her true intentions.
Self-Pity always takes my side (which, of course, I love). She constantly says that she only has my interest in mind and that she cares for me and understands me more than anyone else.
The more time I spend with her, the harder it is for me to be content with anything in my life. I am beyond blessed, but she tells me that I deserve more. What I have, is never enough. In this life, things often don’t go my way and when they don’t, Self-Pity tells me that it is unacceptable. She keeps track of every time that I am wronged and demands that everything in my life should be fair. She tells me that I deserve what I want when I want it. Her goal is to make me a self-centered person who throws a fit if I don’t get my way… every time.
Self-Pity is determined to make me a victim far more often than I actually am one.
She loves to whisper in my ear...
“Poor me, I didn’t get what I wanted.”
“Poor me, I don’t deserve this.”
“Poor me…”
I now respond right back to her…
“I refuse to live my life as a victim.
I am strong.
I am blessed.
I have a lot of things to be thankful for and I will choose to move forward and be appreciative.”
All of us have some level of relationship with Self-Pity. We must take a firm stand against her or she will isolate us. We will end up living in a world that revolves around one person, ourselves. Self-Pity’s ultimate goal is to produce a selfish perception of the world where everything is happening “to us”, even when the situation isn’t about “us” at all. We become blind to the needs of anyone else and lose our ability to love others well.
This is the only life I get and I refuse to live it as a spoiled brat who is never happy with what I have. No matter how often she tries to tell me differently, Self-pity is not my friend. She is a thief who will take my joy, twist my perceptions and steal from my relationships.
When she knocks on my door, I tell her to leave, but that doesn’t keep her from knocking again.
She is relentless, but as am I.
I take this life seriously and anything that tries to steal from it is not welcome. I will choose gratitude and tell her that I don’t have time for her shit.