Time Doesn't Heal All wounds

This life is many things and fair isn’t one of them. There will always be tragedies that make no sense and losses that our brain is unable to reconcile.

When God designed the earth, loss wasn’t supposed to be a part of her story, but now we must endure the pain of it. There are moments that are hurtful, but then there are moments filled with the scenes of our worst nightmares.

Some moments are made up of only despair.

Heartbroken doesn’t even seem to describe it, as if the pain only affected one part of us. More accurately, we feel we have been ripped in two from our head to our toes. We don’t know how, but our very being feels unattached from itself.

When everything seems gray and we walk around like zombies feeling numb and empty inside. Even though we are sure we will feel joy again, it is hard to imagine how that’s possible.

When the first few moments of every day are spent waking up and once again realizing We are living in our worst nightmare.

Truth is, time doesn’t heal all wounds.

Saying time heals all wounds implies, given enough time, we will eventually return to who we were before. In some cases, this just isn’t possible. Sometimes, life betrays us in such a way the person we were before no longer exists. The event brought such devastation it seemed to alter our very DNA. Even with time, effort, and counseling, the experience will forever have its Impact.

from thIs point forward, our life will be known as “the before” and “the after”.

Of course, time changes the pain, but that doesn’t stop the waves of loss & heartache from taking us under whenever they please. Something was stolen from our life and it will forever have its impact on us. No amount of good things or time will ever make up for it.

There is nothing left to do but wait. Wait and see what our life will become. Not with joy, but with trust. Trust that God can heal us. Not to what we were, but to something new. Something we’ve never been before. Clinging tight to the truth that we have not been forsaken and their is redemption to be found somewhere in this darkness.

The journey ahead is long, but there is hope that one day we will be healed. not because time has passed, but because God has worked.

Mastering the Art of Letting Dreams Die

I am passionate about dreaming in this life. I love happy endings and dreams fulfilled. However, there is a very real part of this life that involves learning to allow dreams to come to an end.

Sometimes our dreams die a slow peaceful death and sometimes they come crashing down without any warning they would be gone so soon.

When we are young, the sky can feel like the limit. We don't doubt what our life will bring to us because we are confident that our dreams will come to pass and things will go as planned.

And sometimes they do.

However, as we get older and our dreams become reality, we often realize how much disappointment comes along with our dreams. Life seldom goes exactly as we planned. At times, we find ourselves grabbing for scraps of our dreams that have been left over from our reality.

And then there are the times that our dreams are taken from us completely.

No scraps left to gather. No dream left at all.

Nothing left to manage.

I am a firm believer in redemption, but sometimes there is nothing left to redeem. Sometimes the dream is simply gone.

What then?

How do we move forward in life?

Here are the steps I take when it is time to let a dream die…

1. Acknowledge it is gone.

The first step is to acknowledge what has happened. Look at the situation and define it for what it is. See the loss and allow yourself to acknowledge the new experience you have to live.

Sometimes this is easy and sometimes this is the hardest part of it all.

2. Let it go.

Depending on the loss, this step alone can take some time. Losing something and letting go of it are actually two different steps. The loss comes first, often times, without our consent. Letting go is our participation in the loss. Letting go is our choice to say we are making a new way in our life without our dream.

3. Grieve it.

It's ok and GOOD to acknowledge the loss and allow yourself to feel the pain.

It is important to identify it and talk to someone about it. Even if it sounds silly or you don't think it will help, be sure to find someone you can discuss your loss with.

4. Find hope.

Depending on the depth of your loss, this could take some time. However, at some point, it is essential to discover hope again. Not hope that the dream will return, but hope for a new dream.

5. Decide how you will view your fear.

I have found that once I have chosen to hope again, I am always faced with fear quickly after.  Fear of losing my new dream and fear of having to walk the journey of loss once again.

Fear will tell us he is our protector and our friend, but he is not. His true intention is to keep us limited in our life and keep our dreams small.

You and you alone will define how fear directs your future.

Dreaming is a beautiful part of our life. Losing the dream is not so beautiful, but it is necessary to understand that once we have lost a dream we must walk the steps to grieve our loss.

If we don't, we may experience something worse than our lost dream... A life of no dreaming at all.

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